Bringing Up Bates "Chaperoning Dos and Don'ts"
- Having recently realized that their younger kids don’t know much about chaperoning, Gil and Kelly host a Chaperoning 101 class. “We noticed our chaperones are getting younger and younger and younger,” says Kelly. “And some of these little guys think that chaperoning means getting a free meal.
- When the parents ask Zach and Whitney to demonstrate how a courting couple should act on a date, Zach jokingly turns the tables. “What did y’all do on dates?” he questions. “Y’all show us what y’all did on dates. We’d love to learn from y’all. I mean, y’alls’ love has lasted through 19 kids. What did y’all do?” Everyone busts out laughing.
- While they do believe in chaperones, Gil and Kelly also encourage those chaperoning to let the couple have chances to talk privately, as long as they are in a public place. For example, they might get a private table at a restaurant.
- Speaking of chaperones, Katie accompanies Josie to Kelton’s house to eat with him and his family. “I think we’ve kind of agreed that when we first get married, we’re probably going to cook together since I’m not a very good cook yet,” admits Josie. Kelton’s youngest sister, Kerstin, shows off the bunnies that she got for her birthday. They end the day with ice cream at Cruze Farm Dairy.
- About a month before they move, Tori and Bobby drive to Hendersonville (near Nashville) to meet with Greg Mutsch, senior pastor at the church, Bible Baptist, that has hired Bobby as its youth pastor.
- They also tour some beautiful, two-bedroom apartments in the area. “If it doesn’t smell bad, I’m happy,” laughs Tori.
- While in Hendersonville, Tori and Bobby go on a double date at a bowling alley with Carlin and Evan. “This is totally going to be our future, like every weekend, as much as we can,” says Tori.
- Lawson stops by to join in on the fun and jokingly accuses them of discriminating against single people when they don’t allow him in their couples’ picture.
- Back in Rocky Top, Bradley helps Zach build a dog house for Boomer. “One thing Zach’s great at is building,” says Lawson. “He just needs to make it big enough so he can fit in it,” adds Carlin, smiling.
I am curious. Is Kelton’s father remarried? I noticed he is wearing a wedding band and I know Keltons mom had passed away. Also does anyone in Keltons family have gluten issues? I noticed there were no hamburger buns for their hamburgers...
ReplyDeleteMy brother-in-law still wears his wedding ring after his wife died in 2011. I know Mrs. Balka died longer ago than that, but just shows that it is not so uncommon. My BIL still considers himself to be married.
DeleteWhile I thought Zach was very funny in challenging G & K to reveal what they did when courting, I think the scene reveals that in spite of their claim that courting/engaged couples get to set their own rules is not actually correct. They have to be in an open space, they can't sit too close, they can't let their faces touch, definitely no kissing and must have a chaperone. This is not what has been said in the past. I did laugh when Kelton and Josie chose Zach and Whitney as their chaperones right after Zach grabbed Whitney to demonstrate proper dating behavior. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have already made up your mind that the Bates are not being truthful when they "claim" (your word, not mine) that the couples get to set their own rules. And so you are interpreting everything they say to fit your own pre-conceptions.
DeleteYet there's a picture of Kelton kissing Josie on the forehead posted under "Josie and Kelton's Love Story". He's not kissing her on the lips but their faces ARE touching. Even if this is a pic as an engaged couple, I don't recall ever seeing such a pic of any other Bates couple doing this during the engagement period. (And yes Zach and Whitney kissed, but it seems they did so in secret as they later "confessed" it.)
Also note that the Bates essentially only have "jurisdiction" over their own children, not the suitor. Erin and Chad followed very strict rules, CC-ing all their texts to others and not holding hands until engagement. But I get the feeling that was mostly due to Chad's own standards (mentioned in his blog at the time), not because of Bates rules. (Chad even wore a purity ring, something I don't see the Bates boys doing.)
On the other hand, I recall Nathan and Ashley were very touchy, leaning on each other, hugging and hand holding, even before courtship. Ashley came from a different background (Christian but not IBLP) and that was understandable.
The Bates certainly set SOME ground rules but I also see there is a lot of wiggle room, that some couples have take advantage of more than others.
Lawson is right! There really is some prejudice against the single guy!
ReplyDeleteLoved that episode. The dog house was too cute!
ReplyDeleteI know it is their choice but I think the 'chaperone' thing is way overkill when you are out in public. If you are at a restaurant or with a family at another home, why do you need a small child along, too? Not sure what that proves. Mostly like this family but definitely some issues that make no sense.
ReplyDeleteWhile I understand the general concept of chaperones, I don't get why Carlin always brings a chaperone when she goes to visit Evan, even when she's just going to his house to visit him AND his many family members. She's not actually going to be alone with him. That makes it appear that the Bates don't trust Evan's parents and siblings to be adequate chaperones.
DeleteIn that way the Bates are actually stricter than the Duggars; I recall seeing Joy having dinner with Austin and his parents at their home, and Joe going on outings with Kendra and her family, without any chaperone tagging along as well.
I also don't understand why the Bates (and Duggars too) think it's fine to give little kids that responsibility. A recent Counting On episode featured interviews with the little kids that revealed they don't REALLY know why the courting couples have chaperones, or what exactly they might be tempted to do if they didn't have them. IMHO children who are too young to be taught about the "birds and the bees" are also too young to be adequate chaperones.
I agree. Too young to chaperone sometimed.
DeleteUgh! This chaperone policy is archaic. IF you trust your children to do the right things with membership of the opposite sex; no chaperones are required!!!
ReplyDeleteTo each their own, but they dont seem to trust their children and/or their parenting. Otherwise if they are mature enough to go into a relationship with marriage being the goal, they are mature enough not to have chaperones.
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