"Courtship, that was all a new idea to Bobby, and he really wanted to make it special for Tori. It was really sweet."
-Kelly Bates
Coming up this Thursday on Bringing Up Bates, Tori Bates, accompanied by most of her family, travels down to Florida to meet up with Bobby. The two have been in a relationship for one year, but they aren't "official." In addition to a bunch of exciting surprises, Bobby has an important question to ask his gal. Visit our Showtimes page for TV listings, and check out the promo videos below.
Photo/videos courtesy of UP
They have been dating quite awhile. I don't understand this groups need for certain labels they deem more "pure". Tori said she and Bobby were going to get married so it's just a legalistic formality I guess.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed a courtship is actually an informal engagement. The couple is usually officially engaged within a couple months, followed by the wedding in a couple of months. I'm happy for Tori and Bobby. I hope they continue to respectfully do things on their terms.
ReplyDeleteI thought I understood their rules, but now I'm not sure. They don't use the term "dating," but they can have a "relationship" for a whole year before they're even "courting"? Can someone explain?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand either. Gil said they didn't know each other good enough to start a courtship. But, instead, it just sounds like a regular dating relationship. Some explanation would be good, too, I agree. :)
DeleteMy understanding is that the Bates view dating as just going on dates with different people just the fun of it with no purpose or direction. I assume that "in a relationship" to them means they are limiting themself to a steady relationship with just one person and keeping it that way until it either turns into a courtship or they decide to part ways and just be friends.
DeleteI think it is courtship because they are obviously seriously considering marriage and wouldn't be in a relationship if they weren't. But for some reason or other they just call it being in a relationship for awhile, until they are more sure it might lead to marriage some day.
DeleteI'm a little confused too. I've never heard of dating THEN courtship, engagement, and marriage.
DeleteI don't think they have actually dated in the traditional sense. They have spent time together with their families getting to know each other better. Courtship is entered into once they have developed a good friendship that they think may turn into marriage. The Bates are careful not to let their children enter into a courtship until their kids get to know the other personal really well. Their oldest son entered into a courtship where he didn't know the other person that well, and it ended badly. He was very hurt. They are trying to avoid the same situation happening to their other children.
DeleteThe Bates family has talked about a brief "getting to know you stage" before courtship. That's probably what Tori and Bobby were in. I think Zach and Whitney's stage before courtship was quite long as well. Then, they almost jumped immediately to engagement, but were talked into doing a courtship before engagement because it's so fun.
DeleteIt seems like they get too caught up in semantics, if you ask me.
DeleteCourtships do seem like a great idea. I wish I would have thought of it before having my daughter and him leaving. Too late now. I'm not sure a single mom can court.
ReplyDeleteHi Denise! You can most definitely still court! Courtship means to have a relationship with an intention of marriage.So instead of just flirting and going on some dates you are both transparent in how you both want to approach a relationship. That's also doesn't mean you interview the guy on a first date but it means that after you both have built a solid friendship and know the other person pretty well and you both feel led by the Lord that that's where he wants you, that's when it would be time to begin courting. Hope I helped :)
DeleteYou did. I have been celibate since I've had her and really want to wait for the right guy and be that example for her. It gets tough but it's possible
DeleteGlad to see they don't have those silly "side hugs". And the clip looks like Bobby might be getting ready to kiss her on the forehead. Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you read the blogs if you just hate on the Duggars! Not everyone has the same beliefs as you!
DeleteAnon@ 10:56- Good grief. Cool your jets. Kathy's comment was a far stretch from being one of hate.
DeleteI'm not sure where the hate is? The original poster said the side hugs were silly, I happen to agree. Saying side hugs are silly is not hating on them, it's stating an opinion. And that's what blogging is about! Reaching out to their readers and asking for opinions.
DeleteShe has commented a couple times on both blogs. She has implied that she thinks the Duggars have stupid beliefs! I was mad and apologize for sounding mean. I just don't understand why you would go to a blog that talks about the Duggars if you don't like them! And maybe it just wasn't Kathy's comments but ALL the hate on the comments. Sorry for defending them.
DeleteWill be any chance at all to watch the show from E.U. ?
ReplyDeleteHi there,
DeleteRight now, the show is only available for purchase on Amazon, Up Faith and Family (through Xfinity, Dish, or Amazon), and iTunes. If it becomes available to international viewers, we will definitely make an announcement.
Thanks for being a loyal reader!
Lily and Ellie
It is so refreshing to watch this young couple!! Hugging, holding hands, showing affection. Still remaining pure! Touching and showing love is OK!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the name of the romantic song at the end of this clip?
ReplyDeleteSo what's the difference between having a "relationship" and "courting?" This has put a whole new twist on things and brought confusion. Seems odd to say they are not "official." How to you unofficially have a relationship?
ReplyDeleteSo they have the "unofficial" period where they get to know each other. If they decide they want to enter a more serious relationship it is a courtship. Courtship is basically dating, but long term with marriage in mind. Not all courtships will end in marriage, but so far all Bate courtship have.
DeleteDo you realize they are now celebrating an "anniversary" of that "unofficial period where they get to know each other"?
DeleteIt just seems like they think "dating" is a dirty word and will do anything not to say it.
Will anyone who knows, please explain why any guy would agree to such strict courting rules such as to never be alone with the girl, even in a public place during the daytime; to have a marriage intent right away, even before knowing who they are and what they're like to be with? No kissing AT ALL? Just over the top. If my son were asked such a thing, I'd tell him to stay away from something like that and I'm a God believing, God worshipping member of a Christian religion.
ReplyDeleteWhat does kissing lead to? Surely it can't be that long ago for you that you forget the temptations that come along the closer you get physically. I was allowed to be affectionate, and I wish my parents had set stricter boundaries. My husband and I know the temptations and want our children to avoid them. We were not intimate before marriage, but the temptation was very strong. Why go through that? They have all the time in the world after marriage to be physically close. We have taught our boys to treat all girls like they would their sister.... be kind to them... treat them with respect... talk to them and find out their hearts. Then if things don't work out, you will never feel awkward seeing them in the future. There will be no guilt... no comparing your spouse to someone else you have dated or courted. Dating has only been around since the car was invented. People did not go out alone before then. If a guy liked a girl, he would go to her house and spend time with her and her whole family. There would be accountability and the whole family would get to know this person.
DeleteIt's called self control. It's really easy to kiss and not go further. Society needs to stop blaming hormones and admit that there is a self control issue. There is nothing impure about kissing before marriage and staying pure is easy.
DeleteCan you imagine marrying a guy without having kissed him, then finding out he's a horrible kisser?
ReplyDeleteDoes anybody know the name of the song at the end of this clip? I thought I knew what it is, but I'm not sure... Anybody? Anybody?
ReplyDeleteanyone know what Bobby said to Gil after they started the courtship? UP put in a pop up at the same time? Anyone? @Lily and Ellie, do you know?
ReplyDeleteHi there,
DeleteBobby was confirming with Gil that he had permission to hold Tori's hand, and Gil said something like, "Oh yeah, of course!"
Ellie
Sorry but like the Duggar family, all the kids are growing up too fast xx
ReplyDelete