Carlin Bates and boyfriend Evan
Although they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, Carlin shared on Thursday's episode that she and Evan are not yet in a courtship. In Bates terms, there is an unofficial period before courtship, during which a couple often refers to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.
For Tori Bates and Bobby Smith, exactly one year passed between the time they started pursuing a relationship and the time Bobby asked Tori to officially start a courtship.
Stay tuned for a post about Evan and his family!
If you enjoy this blog, be sure to check out our other sites (NashvilleWife.com and DuggarFamilyBlog.com).
Photo courtesy thebatesfamily.com
Aw he's cute! It's funny because he looks slightly similar to Bobby. The same tall dark hair and blue eyes. They must have the same type! :)
ReplyDeletei agree! i actually thought he was bobby at first!
DeleteThat's funny! That was exactly my first thought too!
DeleteCarlin is such a doll and I think really all the Bates girls are dolls, so sweet. I wish her and Evan well and if it doesn't amount to more than a good friendship then I wish them both happiness in their futures.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy for them. But, referring to someone you are dating as "boyfriend/girlfriend" is not exclusive to Bates "unofficial" times before courting. Everyone calls it that. Why do they have so many titles anyway? Official--unofficial--courting--engagement. So many steps. Is that part of ATI doctrine?
ReplyDeleteIn the words of my cousin "Our generation is getting married!" She means the 90's generation; especially with us both being from '97 and '98 respectively.
ReplyDeleteI wish the best for Carlin in this new stage of life.
James- You are still very young. My daughter is 19 and my son is 21. They're busy going to college and looking ahead to becoming financially secure before considering a walk down the aisle. Their significant others are of the same mindset and I am very glad for that!
DeleteAnon. 2:57 - I know. I know. It's just her way of saying that we're "adults" know, so it's a bit surreal seeing people our age walking towards the altar.
DeleteI'm almost 20 and I don't, & never have had a boyfriend. We're still young.
DeleteDon't the Bates tend to marry young though? I went to college downstate illinois and most small town girls that I met were more.than ready to marry after college so around 21 years old?
Deleteshe looks like Alyssa!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSweet couple! I wish them the best during this exciting time of getting to know if they are the "one" for each other! I like that the Bates have gently strayed away from the original courtship model that to me seemed very cold and unrealistic.
ReplyDeleteThey're not courting but they're calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend so... Isn't that the same as dating?
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly. :)
Deleteyep! I agree
DeleteI think they should just drop the "courtship" act. The Bates girls are dating and there's no other way to put it. Just let them say they're dating! There's nothing wrong with it. Christians can date and still remain pure. It happens all the time. But suddenly they have to add an "unofficial time before courtship where they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend" is just trying to extend their rules. Just drop it and let your kids have beautiful relationships. Marriages last without them. I have so many friends who just "dated" and their marriages are still intact. And we're Catholic! So it totally works. ;) But lots of Luck to carlin - and tori too! I wish them the best! They are sweet girls raised by great parents. I'm glad to see them growing up and finding nice boys.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! I see no real difference between this "unofficial" period where they call each other boyfriend/girlfriend and dating (or even courting, for that matter). You can still "date" with the intention of getting to know a person and saving the physical for marriage!
DeleteWow he could definitely be Bobby's brother. A sweet lovely young lady.blessing to them both.nice to see young people with morals instead of the nasty people at spring break half naked drunk and "twerking" the Bates are a breath of fresh air.
ReplyDeleteIKR! Love the Bates!
DeleteAgreed! My family is a similar type of christian, and it's nice to know there other people who have similar morals.
DeleteThey're not in a courtship but they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend?... That's confusing but to each his own. How exciting!
ReplyDeleteCarlin, Im so happy for you and your boy friend Evan. So glad you had a wonderful time. You are such a Awesome Couple. Love your friend Jodi. 2017.
ReplyDeleteThese kids aren't dating. Dating implies that they are allowed to spend time together alone...go out to eat without a chaperone, to a movie, walk, sporting events and the like. They aren't allowed any of those things without a chaperone or two with them at all times. Did he have to fill out a 50 page application and submit it to her father like the Duggar suitors have to? This is a serious question, not insulting this family.
ReplyDeleteI think the Bates give their children more freedom to initially choose their girlfriends/boyfriends. It seems like the teens have large groups of friends and fall in love spontaneously. I'm sure Gil has many hard questions for the guys before engagement, but at least they are allowed to let natural feelings develop before that. The Duggars, on the other hand, vet every single guy before they're allowed to talk to the girls with the intent of courtship. I understand it's a protective measure, but in my experience it put lots of pressure on very new relationships to get married fast, and also limits the girls' prospects. They will tend to choose the first guy Dad approves of rather than naturally developing feelings for a good friend.
DeleteFor those asking, the way I understand it is that the unofficial boyfriend/girlfriend phase is just a chance for them to get to know each other as really (really) good friends. But courtship is different- courtship is dating with a serious intent of marriage. When a couple is courting, they are really considering marriage. Its like very serious dating to them. Is this the way I've chosen to go about my dating life? No. And its probably not the way you've chosen (or would have chose) to go about yours. But it works for the Bates family and helps them stick to their beliefs and values. The difference between that unofficial phase and courting may be small to some but there is a difference. Also, thank you Lilly and Ellie for all the work you do to keep this blog and the Duggar blog updated!
ReplyDeleteThey are just following their religions guidelines regarding dating aren't they? I don't think that I could "date"the way the Bates family does but their marriages seem very loving and solid so it works for them.
ReplyDeleteI wonder as more of the kids go to college if they might end up liking and eventually marrying someone who is more secular. For example, Bobby apparently was not part of the religious sect that requires courtship since he had to ask what it entailed. As if the girls marry someone who is spiritual but not part of the IBLP movement perhaps they might practice birth control.
ReplyDelete"Annie"...good comment. I agree that more latitude is better for an inexperienced young girl. I hope this family realizes that it's not sinful to let their daughter breathe a bit, unlike the Duggar family.
ReplyDeleteExcited for them!
ReplyDeletecongratulations as you progress in gettin to kno each other
ReplyDeleteOh gosh he's cute. Carlin deserves the best!
ReplyDeleteCarlin is such a lovely young girl.You guys have done a great job bringing your kids up in the admonition of the Lord,but please don't let Carlin get married too soon. I saw the show last night and to be honest, I dont think the young man is as into her as she is into him. Please give her a chance to really get to know him before allowing her to get married. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI know Evan and he is an amazing, Godly young man. She seems very sweet and we wish them the best!
ReplyDeletewhat is a Evan Stewart middle name
ReplyDelete