Last season on Bringing Up Bates, Michael (Bates) Keilen and Brandon Keilen opened up about their struggles with infertility. Just yesterday, Michael shared that her inability to conceive has taken a toll. The Keilens will celebrate their two-year anniversary in August.
Michael has been smitten with Brandon from day one, telling him when he proposed that she had wanted to marry him from the moment they first met. The couple is very happy together as young marrieds, and they are beyond grateful to God for bringing them together, but Michael admits that she still has a deep desire to be a mother.
The oldest daughter of Gil and Kelly Bates, Michael has possessed a love for children from a young age.
“Everyone in the family has always predicted and said Michael is going to be the one that has a really, super large family," Kelly tells viewers during the recent "Doggy Dilemmas" episode. "She loves children. She rejoices when another person is pregnant as much as we do, but at the same time…there’s got to be that feeling of, ‘I wish I could be pregnant and join them.’”
After marrying Brandon in August 2015 and graduating from Roane State Community College the following spring, Michael began to wonder why she hadn't yet gotten pregnant. She had tests done, and the doctors told her not to give the subject any more thought until she had been married a year.
Following the Keilens' one-year anniversary, they visited a specialist, who ran further tests but was still unable to find a solution.
"Night after night, I cried myself to sleep and felt like all my dreams and desires were shattered," Michael writes on her website. "Each night, Brandon held me close and let me cry until I had no more tears. He prayed with me and assured me that God had a plan and knew what He was doing. Yet, I had become so focused on the one thing I didn’t have that I was doubting God and His goodness."
On one particular night, when Michael's heartache was very great, Brandon shared words of encouragement that spoke to the deepest parts of her heart.
"Brandon encouraged me to be honest with God and ask for His grace to trust again," Michael writes. "As I began asking God to help me see Him again and to give me grace to trust, He started changing my heart. As I searched for verses and meditated on who God is, my perspective changed. Not only has God shown me His hand of provision on the medical side of this walk (finding doctors, searching for answers, providing finances), He also has allowed me to see how this time has knit our hearts together as a couple. Even greater still, God has allowed me to see a glimpse of Him. The fellowship I’ve had with my Heavenly Father is unlike anything I dreamed possible. He truly has become my everything, and I’m learning that no matter what situation or circumstance life throws at me, Jesus Christ is the only one that can fully satisfy."
Michael admits that she still struggles and that her tears flow often, but in the midst of the pain, she has a peace that surpasses all understanding, knowing that God can be trusted no matter what.
Photo courtesy brandonandmichaela.com
Sobbing. Really touched my heart. I struggled for years and couldn't carry a child. My children await me in heaven. I have faith that the Lord will bless Michael and bless her greatly for her faith and trust. God bless🌈
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteSo sorry for you both. I have a niece in heaven, too, for the same reason. We like to talk about what she's doing there -- eating ice cream and candy without having to worry about gaining weight, haha.
DeleteI was married two years and tried and tried to get pregnant, went to a specialist he ran all kinds off tests could not find any problems so basically I gave up and the next month I became pregnant. The doctor said sometimes when you try to hard it does something to your body so you can't become pregnant.
Deletei have been married for 7 years and I also struggle with infertility. I was diagnosed in 2010 with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I also had test done and the doctors told us unexplained. I cry often to in bed, in the bath, and in church recently. my husband and I live in a great area with many families with children. I wonder all the time why them and not me. we turned to foster to adopt and had two children but the state took them away after a month back to family members. I am still grieving and feel that it is not fair. I just want to have children and experience what every one else has in their life.
DeleteHannah cried out to God and He heard her prayer and she had seven children. I believe God sees your tears and He will answer you for His word says He is a very present help in times of trouble. I am praying for you and Brandon to be blessed with the children that the Lord has for you. God sees the hunger and longing in your soul. God is faithful and know that I am praying for you.
DeleteI was married over 4 yrs I prayed for children but never conceived, finally gave up..one morning I woke to the smell of food cooking and became very nauseous later that day someone came over to deliver a package they reeked with cigarette smoke I became nauseous again I couldn't eat for days and thought I was going to die I spent so many days in the bathroom sick...I had to go to the hospital thought I had food poising but instead I found out I was pregnant...just be patient wait on the Lord ..now I have 3 children!
DeleteCould they consider adoption if medical intervention doesn't help?
ReplyDeleteMichaela,
ReplyDeleteDont give up! I too tired for 3 years to get pregnant and nothing happened. I prayed and prayed, then finally my husband and I decide it was okay just being the two of us. About 2 months after that I found out that I was pregnant with our first son. It took 10 years before we were able to get pregnant with our second son. Then 5 years later I found out that God really had a sense of humor because at age 41 I was pregnant again. At that point I told God, if you are giving me a child at 41 years of age, then it better be a girl. Well it was a girl! So please never give up hope. It will happen. My prayers will be with you .
Joanie
Bethlehem, Ga
Love your story.
DeleteGreat story. My aunt and uncle had a baby after hoping for a few yrs then it was 14 (yes, fourteen) yrs later til #2! You just never know. Stay calm. Be grateful for what you have.
DeleteBe encouraged, Michaela! The God who is in control loves you so much. In His timing, God is going to give you the desires of your heart. In the meantime, stay busy and watch what He will do. God bless you both!
ReplyDeleteShe is right Micheal. In His timing. He is in control. He is going to give you the desire of your heart. He will
DeleteHave Brandon and Michaela explored adoption? They have such big hearts, this may be God's way of leading them to care for children who are already here and are struggling in unfortunate situations.
ReplyDeleteI am sure they don't need advice about adopting. They seem like an intelligent couple, perfectly capable of weighing their options. Saying that God is leading them in any particular direction makes no more sense than saying infertility is God's will. It's not. Stuff happens and our bodies can fail us in many different ways. It's a part of the human condition. Infertile couples need sympathy, not platitudes.
DeleteIt is my that hope that Michaela is not of the belief that infertility is a result of sin. If it were, there would be few people procreating! I do know her pain and the struggle to find answers. For what it's worth, get a second and third opinion. My husband and I ended up going to the Mayo Clinic for answers. Also, know that you are not alone. Sometimes it can help to join a support group where you can talk with others going through the same thing. It's hard for others who have no trouble conceiving to really understand what you are going through. I am glad that she finds solace in her faith. My heartfelt best wishes go out to the Keilens.
ReplyDeleteThat is the hardest to understand... all she's ever wanted was to be a mom and it just seems so unfair that this struggle is happening to her. Awww, my prayers go out to them.
ReplyDeleteMichael, we all care and hurt for your Surround yourself with those who love you. Your family and in laws love you very much. Your family loves you and they too are hurting for you. When the time comes, we all will be rejoicing.
DeleteBrandon & Michael:
ReplyDeleteRemember that GOD always answers our prayers in his way and in his time. Strong FAITH, strong LOVE and strong FAMILY. Our prayers are with both:)
Amen to that.
Deletethank you for sharing your heart
ReplyDeleteGod will bless each of us with the gifts He has when we seek His face and guidance. It is hard to wait for God's timing but I know that He has the perfect plan for Michael and Brandon. So often, we do not wait for God and we end up with regrets. I pray that in their journey this does not happen.
ReplyDeleteMjchael, Dojt be impatient, wait on Him, or you will regret. Rash decisions are the worst ones.
DeleteI bet God will bless them with twins! :)
ReplyDeleteAs women, we have the desire to become Mothers. It breaks my heart when I hear couples having troubles and difficulties having children. Michael, your a beautiful woman of God's grace and love. We as humans tend to forget that we all are on God's time and not our own. I myself never thought I would become a Mother, but God had other plans for me and here I am a single mother of 2 raising my children in God's holy light. Your time will come, I promise. You two will make wonderful parents.
ReplyDeleteOh Michaela. I will pray for you. Your family has brought such inspiration to my life. My son, Morgan, dances to y'alls theme song. We tried for 5 yrs for him. Had 3 miscarriages, and now our sweet Rainbow, Josie, turns 1 next month. When we were struggling, I was very very angry at God. One verse, I saaid everyday, has changed my life. PROVERBS 3:5-6; Trust in the Lord with ALL thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.
ReplyDeleteThis brought me a lot of encouragement. God Bless sweet girl.
Proverbs 3:5-6. May we never forget.
DeleteI pray for you my dear I struggled with unexplainable infertility for six yrs and so my husband and I adopted a little girl she was the best decision for us. She brought so much healing in our hurt and then two yrs later we were able to become pregnant with our rainbow baby. I just want to give you a word of hope don't give up hold God to his promises and he will provide!
ReplyDeleteHis plan is always worth waiting for. Lifting you guys up. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteAfter 10 long painful and tearful years, I found myself questioning my faith. I cried asking the Lord to help guide and restore me. I was compelled to try one more round of infertility and with a different Dr I conceived my twins! After our 10th anniversary our twins came 2/2002. My next came naturally 5/2003. Please continue your prayers, hold onto life with your loving family and never stop trying. Leah from Dothan, AL
ReplyDeleteMichaela- I understand your frustrations on not being able to conceive. I have been dealing with it for 8 yrs and I don't want to tell you that it gets easier because it doesn't. But don't give up. I seems like you are alone in this and I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I will pray for you. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably all the harder since she is surrounded by family that keeps getting pregnant.
DeleteMichael,my daughter waited 8 yrs then had in vitro it was her eggs and husbands sperm but had to be fertilized thru invite. They had several eggs. They lost twins on first try at 30 weeks. Then they were down to 1 eggs and God blessed us with a wonderful little boy 16 yrs ago this month. He us our miracle of God for sure.
ReplyDeletenot to worry,maybe there is a ready made family that you will adopt.happened to a friend ,she couldnt get pregnant either and ten these kids were left homeless when parents died in crash yes she is the proud mom of 3
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen the episode, but I wonder if they have considered adoption? There are many children in the world that needs parents, and I am sure Michaela and Brandon would be wonderful parents.
ReplyDeleteA note of encouragement to Michael -
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I thought we would have a difficult time conceiving and started trying right away. I was pregnant after 6 weeks. Two years later when we wanted to add to our family I naively thought it would be just as easy. 5 years later still no baby. I knew it was my body. I felt like a failure as a woman and a wife. My husband was very supportive and helped me through the seemingly endless grief. Finally I met the right doctor who was able to help me solve my fertility problem and after 5 long years I am 6 weeks pregnant. Miracles do happen. I hope she finds the right doctor and receives her miracle very soon. Best wishes to both of them.
Michael I admire your bravery for being open and honest about something so personal. I am also a woman who wanted to be a mother from the time I was very young and not able to have kids. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSuggesting that the Keilen's consider adoption is not the thing to say to anyone struggling with infertility. It's condescending. Having gone through it myself, I can assure you that my husband and I considered it, as well as medical options. (I'm happy to say that we went on to adopt our wonderful kids!) Adoption is not for everyone and it's not as easy as dropping in at an agency and saying, "We'll take that one!" Better to just say that you can't imagine how difficult it must be and you wish them the best. They are getting all the advice they need from their doctors.
ReplyDeleteI am a middle aged woman and this is not my struggle and yet your words comforted me. I am going through some stuff and have lost sight of God. Your words spoke to me about praying and asking God to help me see Him again!
ReplyDeleteI'm also middle-aged and find that my struggles -- going on now for years -- have brought me closer to the Lord.
DeleteYou should never rely on your own strength. My greatest mistakes occurred whej I did not seek Him out and wait on Him. He speaks through His Word, the Bible.
DeleteUgh. Throwing out adoption as a solution to infertility does not help with grief or anger and it doesn't make the pain less horrible. Adoption is a wonderful wonderful thing and I encourage those that feel called by God to adopt as many kids as they can. I am even considering adoption when my kids are a little older...but that is neither here nor there when a heart is broken. We, as Christians need to stop throwing cliches like "God's timing" and "maybe God has different plans" at people who are hurting. I don't personally believe God creates these situations. We live in a broken world and that means our bodies won't always work the way they are meant to. I do however believe God can redeem any situation and he will move when we cry out to him. It may not be in the way we hope but His presence will be known and will bring comfort. And I say this as someone who has come through tragedy and hardships. If I listened to Christians instead of God I wouldn't have made it through. Now I'm very careful when I open my mouth because I don't want to speak for God or with "good intentions" and cause more pain for the already hurting.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stating so eloquently what I was thinking!
DeleteThis is by far the best comment!
DeleteDoes their religion prohibit invitro?
ReplyDeleteThey haven't even been trying for two years yet. I doubt a Dr would encourage them. Anyway maybe this is gods will, he has a plan for all of us. God bless
DeleteI can't think of anything more insensitive to say to someone experiencing infertility that it is "God's will." Is it also God's will that people who are unfit to parent often times have no problem conceiving?
DeleteI can't speak to the Keilin's specific beliefs, but many who are pro life are not comfortable with the in vitro process because it often results in "extra" embryos being discarded.
DeleteIf it is Gods will for any married couple to not have a baby then God is contradicting His word written in the bible - God clearly created us to procreate and multiply. God is not foolish or narcissist to contradict himself, make people sick to then heal them. However, we live in a fallen world and allsorts of disease, gene mutations, disabilities exist because man over thousands of years has sinned and ruled his own life starting with Adam. Obviously, Brandon & Michaela are praying to God for His will to come here on earth to have children. Yet, there is a bigger spiritual battle in the heavenlies, as spoken of in Daniel and other books of the bible, for Gods will to be done on earth beyond our understanding and beyond our own individual lives. Prayer, fasting and humbly, patiently trusting in Gods Sovereignty as Michaela is evidently doing by her blog post is all you can do alongside the physical
Deleteaspect of good diet, lifestyle, medical help....
First of all to sweet Michael please know you and Brandon are in my prayers. Second of all to you wonderful ladies who shared your infertility struggles, bless you! Your stories brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeletePraying for you my precious one, that the Lord will see your distress and will grant you a child. The Lord God loves you so much that he sent Jesus who died for you and loves you so much. We do not know what purpose he has in this time of deep
ReplyDeletesorrow for you. I pray that God's plan will be accomplished in you and that you will come out of this purified like gold with all the dross removed so that you will glorify Him all the more. God bless you Amen
Our son was born on our 5 1/2 anniversary. We had tried to get pregnant from the time we got married. I cried and just knew I was never going to be a mother. Finally my husband and I decided that if we were not pregnant by our 5th anniversary we would start adoption procedures. I relaxed know that even if I wasn't able to carry a baby I was going to be a mother. Next month I was pregnant had a son and 14 months after his birth I had a girl. I think the pressure was off to get pregnant and my body relaxed. Keeping you in our prayers
ReplyDeleteUnknown your story is almost identical to mine. I was totally consumed with thinking about having a baby 24/7 and when it didn't happen the stress increased. Once I decided to let go and stop thinking and worrying about it it happened. You should never underestimate the negative effect stress can have on our bodies. I sincerely hope things work out for Michael and her husband as they did for us both.
DeleteAs many loving women as are in this family, I cannot believe one has not stepped up and volunteered to do an artificial insemination and carry a baby for Michael--they could use Michael and Brandon's genetic material and the baby would be theirs. I know someone who did this for a friend--their daughter is now 14 years old
ReplyDeleteThe Keilens have been married less than two years. I think that surrogacy is jumping the gun just a tad. You have no way of knowing what other less drastic measures they are considering.
DeleteI feel like this would go against their religious beliefs.
DeleteI struggled with this same problem--3 miscarriages--1 baby that lived 1 day and 1 baby that lived 4 days--believe me if I still had the equipment, I would carry a baby for them myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteThey have been given "unexplained" as the reason so far. This will likely mean Brandon's sperm has tested OK. Why would you assume articificial insemination would be needed or if indeed they have male factor infertility. Also Brandon's genetic material can not be used if it were the case. We can not mix the DNA of 2 men even in this day of amazing technology. 14 years ago we had much less of that too. Not sure what is meant by that apart from you mean they may have been able to match general donor characteristics. A baby born from donor sperm will have 50% of DNA from donor and 50% from mother.
DeleteWe don't know the details if their struggle. Whether it's certain medical concerns, financial (surrogacy is not a cheap easy "fix"), or they could still be researching options they are comfortable with; I'm sure they've thought of all the options out there. Suggesting a surrogate would be the solution is naive. In my years of infertility issues I had several miscarriages and I had several people offer to be a surrogate for us. While it was such a generous offer I felt it was very degrading at the same time. Our issue was the quality of my eggs...I could get pregnant but the baby wouldn't develop properly. So a surrogate wouldn't have helped us at all. I'm sorry for your struggle and I wish you and your family the best.
DeleteSurrogacy is just like IVF. They would take the eggs of the soon to be mother, mix it with the husband's, create embryos, and then implant it into the surrogate's womb. This is a good solution for women with uterine issues like endometriosis that prevent carrying a biological child, but who otherwise have good eggs.
DeleteThe surrogate IS NOT genetically related to the expectant parents. She is an incubator only in every sense of the word. Think of it like a short term baby sitter :-)
It took me 5 years and two different doctors to find a combination that worked for my first child and the two other children were no problem came without any help from the Doctors. The Lord just said for me to be patient. He wanted me to wait on him and for me to learn that I had to try to find other means. I focused on trying to accomplish things that I knew would be hard for my husband and I to do with kids. We accomplished those first without kids.
ReplyDeleteNaprotechnology unveils and treats the disease (hormonal, nutritional, structural issues) causing infertility for both the man and woman. Well worth the consultation! Christian-based, research-based too :) Physicians undergo rigorous training and are in most states across the country! Prayers!
ReplyDeleteMy niece and her husband filed for adoption and were approved. Two little girls were offered to 10 cpuples. They were in the final pick of 3 couples but the girls went to someone else. Then my niece surprsingly got pg after 13 yrs 1 month of marriage. After 13 yrs 10 mos of marriage they welcomed a baby girl!
ReplyDeleteMy niece and her husband filed for adoption and were approved. Two little girls were offered to 10 couples. They were in the final pick of 3 couples but the girls went to someone else. Then my niece surprsingly got pg after 13 yrs 1 month of marriage. After 13 yrs 10 mos of marriage they welcomed a baby girl!
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry for you. It took me 2 years and 3 months. I never got pregnant again...We both had test and medically it was both of us and should never had our son..It wrecked my nerves. All my friends getting pregnant but me. I thought God was punishing me. But it was all God's timing. When our son was a senior he was called to preach.
ReplyDeleteWe can't understand why some gets pregnant and aborts them or worse.
There is a song I think of a lot. I prayed all night..held on with all my might and my cries awoken the Master.
Hang in there and I'm praying too. God answers prayers. Love yall
Yes, all in the Lord s time.
DeleteI have struggled too I wonder if Brandon had any testing done or just Michella. I wish you the best. You can always try IVF or adoption but both are a big commitment
ReplyDeleteAny competent doctor will test the man first, because getting a sperm count is less invasive than most of the tests are for women.
DeleteAmen!was just thinking the same thing.
DeleteDear Michael,
ReplyDeleteI so understand what you are going through. And even as I write this, I am still healing from a second ectopic pregnancy and the loss of ever becoming pregnant again (tubal ligation). This time it was a surprise to us, but not from God. He makes no mistakes, but I'm still grieving from how these last few months have gone and wondering how He will use this for His glory. Already, I've been able to encourage some, and I hope I can encourage you, too. When I was married 11 years ago, I thought pregnancy would come easily, as it did for both my younger sisters. However, I lost my first baby during the first trimester and I was younger and healthier then. A few months later, I had an appendectomy, which led to scar tissue...which led to my having to have my first tube removed. We were overjoyed a year later when I was pregnant again, but soon found out it was an ectopic pregnancy (on my one and only good tube). Through these circumstances, we started the process of foster-adoption. God had already planted this desire in my heart years earlier, although I thought I would have biological children as well. Well, after several years of having children in and out, we had a total of 9 stay with us, and then we adopted five of them! They are truly a blessing to this mama's heart. They were made just for our family. Keep seeking the Lord through the tears...I know it's hard, believe me. Eleven years later, this chapter in my life is closing, but now, I am trying to focus on the precious five He gave me to enjoy now. Someday, I will see those four precious babies in Heaven. God is good--don't ever forget that, even through this journey. Praying for you! --Theo-ann Johnson
Thanks so much for suggesting fostering. I grew up the only biological child in a family that over 25 years included 148 children. As an adult, I had both biological and foster children, and I felt the same mother's love for each of them. I don't offer fostering as an alternative, but rather as a way to fill her loving arms and her days until a baby comes.
DeleteI understand what Michael is going through. I have been waiting 7 years for a grand child. But I have a question? Could someone answer. If she has grown up believing God will bless her with the size of her family; Then why is she looking into Medical Options. If they don't believe in taking Medical "precautions" not to have children, why have Medical interventions to have children. Is that really letting God determine the size of your family?
ReplyDeleteTo each their own.
DeleteKelly Jo has accepted medical intervention to sustain her last couple of pregnancies, and so Michaela would feel ok about it too. Kelly explained that if a child was sick, you would accept medical intervention, and therefore, the same should apply to an unborn child.
DeleteGreat question. If it's up to God, then isn't it up to God?
DeleteI've often wondered the same questions that you're asking. It would be interesting to hear their answers to them, but I know we never will.
DeleteYou ask a fair question, if a bit insensitive. For one thing, the Keilens have not shared the cause of their infertility, nor what medical interventions, if any, they have undergone. From my understanding, they have been going through testing. Kelly Jo and Erin were treated to prevent miscarriage. They view this is as saving a life already conceived. Whether or not they would approve of IVF or other methods to achieve pregnancy is not clear.
DeleteStop being so judgy. It didn't say she was doing IVF or anything. She went to the doctor to see if there was a reason she wasn't getting pregnant, not to take intervention to get her pregnant. There's nothing wrong with utilizing modern medicine.
DeleteSometimes there is a simple medical reason for not getting pregnant. My husband and I were trying for several months to get pregnant with no results. I went to the doctor and found out that I have hypothyroidism. I started on medicine for it and about five months later found out we were having our first child. Sometimes our bodies just aren't working properly. There isn't anything around with finding out and taking care of any issues. God works through doctors and modern medicine too.
DeleteWhile I don't think this is the right time to ask, I understand your question on the subject. I was thinking about it, and while I can't speak for them, I imagine it has to do with their love for children. They all really love children and desire to have a family, not to prevent it. So they pray for a child and try to make sure there is no medical reason for them to not have children. Another might be their belief in some methods of birth control being inconsistent with their beliefs because it harms an already conceived child. Using those forms of birth control would be against their beliefs, but some medical intervention to assist in a pregnancy may not be against their beliefs, depending on what that is. And it's really for them to determine that as best as they can. We all face different situations and have different choices to make. I can't say what I would do, but I hope for the best for them!
DeleteI have medical reasons that I may have to prevent pregnancies as I get older for health reasons of both me and the baby and I don't feel upset or judged by what anyone else's beliefs on this subject. I respect their beliefs and I think it's great that they have the convictions they have! I don't feel the need to condemn them, because I am okay with my life and my life choices and that's all that matters! They have chosen the best path for their lives and I have chosen the best path for mine. We all have unique situations and I think their needs to be mkre grace, respect, and love shared and less condemnation :)
I don't see anything wrong with them using IVF if that's what their particular case indicates (still kind of early to try that since they've been married less than 2 yrs). They're fortunate enough to live in a time and place where IVF is available and that would simply be using the best known method to achieve their heart's desire. No doctor can guarantee anyone a pregnancy; that rests in God's hands.
DeleteThis is exactly why ladies should refrain from asking another lady if she's pregnant. A woman will speak when she is comfortable enough to say something.
ReplyDeleteMicheal, I wish I could give you words of comfort. But who has the right words? No one does but remember it is hard on Brandon and you must remember he too is hurting. We all want çhildren but some of us must wait. How many women waited on the Lord to conceive ? Trust in Our Lord. And wait on Him. Remember He knows what is best for you. You need to ask yourself Who is ýour first love? It should be Our Saviour. Not Brandon. And not you. Give Him your all. What is your hhrry? Is it you do not feel whole? Your identify should not be centered on motherhood alone. Allow Erin to give you comfort, think on all she endured. Your joy in the Lord and your willingness to accept whatever He wants for you, you will more likely become pregnant. Relax.
ReplyDeleteSometimes our faith is being tested. We must wait on the Lord and when we are tested we must stand firm. Bible verses said repeatedly helps. Turn to prayer. Ask Him for strength in your weakness and He will provide. Torus He loves you. Put on the armor of the Lord. You will have a child.
DeleteSo many women in the Bible make foolish mistakes wanting a child. They couldn't see straight. Dont adopt, just wait until our Lord is ready. Busy yourself in the mean time. Keep busy in service to your Saviour. It doesn't need to be child related. Doing that will not fulfill you. Serve Him through the church.
DeleteWhen you start having children Michael it will take time away from Brandon enjoy the time you have with him. One day you won't have that time.
DeleteMichael it could be worse. Look what Erin endured, though she will see her children in Heaven one day, it is still painful.
DeleteI had a strong desire to have a child. I had no health issues but I learned my husband after several years of marriage, did jot wajt any. He did not want to share me. Michael you have a loving husband. That is the most important thing. Just wait. Relax. I had my child and she suffered. My husband made things hard on her. He was jealous. He is sorry now because he sees she is such a loving young woman. You will have things better Michael. Things will work out for you Michael. I have faith. Don't let Satan have a hold.
DeleteThings could be worse. You have such a loving husband.
DeleteWhen we are little girls we all want the white gown, but Some of us, could not afford that and we settled for less. Money was scarce. Some of us didn't get and engagement ring, but were grateful for the wedding ring. Some of us waited years for that baby, but no baby was loved more. Life doesn't always turn out the way we would like. We learj that life can be cruel. There arent always happy ejdings. We aren't little girls any more. I never owned a home but I am grateful for the husband who adores me.
DeleteMicheal you are the salt of the earth. You are a shining light. Don't let those tears ruin your joy. Rememher the fruit of the Spirit? Allow the Lorrd to make you an example to other women. Lef other marvel in how strong you are and how faithful you are in ohr Lord by believing in the depth of your love for Him. You have it in you Michael to allow the Holy Spirit to grow within you. You have a marvelous husband who can join your in prayer and in deep worship.
DeleteI don't mean to be disrespectful but you waited for Brandon for years, why can t you wait for a baby ?
Delete10:34- So, you feel adoption is a "mistake"? There is so much wrong with that kind of thinking, that I don't know where to begin!
DeleteYes,trust the Lord loves you. Put on the armour of God and He will reward you. Your Faith will be strengthened. Wait on the Lord. Wait. You are so young. I was 30, married 5 years until I had my daughter. Wait on Him.
DeleteI too struggle with infertility. We've been trying for 8 1/2 years. I cry everyday. I feel like less of a woman because I'm unable. It's so, so hard. When you always wanted babies, it's hard to not have them. I want my own, not adopted.
ReplyDeleteYou should prayerfully consider adoption if you really want children. God bless you.
DeleteYou make adopted children your own. That's what adoption is all about.
DeletePlease research and consider fertility acupuncture and taking Maca. We got pregnant within 2 months of me doing them after four years of nothing :)
DeleteI have adopted children and they are very much "my own." Please use terms like "biological" instead please..
Delete1:14...respectfully *Anita* should never adopt. She will never see them as "her own". I'm a parent of biological and adopted children of various ethnic backgrounds and color. I'm so thankful my husband and I have forgotten which ones were biological and which were adopted. You see they are "our children".
DeleteI find myself really bothered by your comment, Anita. Adopted children are your own children. My father died when I was little, and my mother's second husband adopted both my younger sister and me. He has never considered us to be anything other than his own children.
DeleteClose family friends of ours struggled with infertility, and chose to adopt rather than go through fertility treatments. After adopting their first child, they went on to conceive and give birth to 2 more children. They are elderly now, and I have heard both of them say that the best day of their lives, and the most overwhelmingly miraculous experience either of them ever had, was the day they brought home the child they adopted, and this was years after all 3 of their children were grown.
Selflessness is one of the most important qualities of a good parent, and parenting is about your children, not yourself. Maybe if you can learn to be a little less self oriented, and if your heart opens a bit wider, your womb will open, too.
Amen 11:46! The Word of God promises he will make us the Joyful Mother of Children!! Children!! Not pregnancy! I find this particular denomination is so very, very focused ( to the point of idolatry imo) on pregnancy..and how fast they can conceive time and time again..it has become a competition. Parenting is way beyond biology--I know as I am the joyful mother of children...birthed through prayer and miracles and the aide of another's womb.
DeleteI think some of you are being very hard on Anita. I too had problems having children, as well as wanting a baby I wanted the experience of being pregnant, of going through all tha stages and feeling a child grow inside me, it is a very strong primal need for some. I was very lucky because I was eventually blessed with two children. I understand that the children anyone adopts are every bit as much your child as any biological child and I don't think that is what Anita is saying. It takes different people different lengths of time to come to terms with infertility, and some never do. To say that someone should never adopt or that somehow the pain they are feeling is keeping their heart and womb closed because they maybe havn't or can't come to terms with their infertility is frankly cruel. I don't know if the two posters above have suffered infertility themselves because they don't say, but the old saying 'walk a mile in my shoes' comes to mind. Put yourself in Anita's shoes and post more mindfully and kindly. All good thoughts sent your way Anita.
DeleteWell@5:58...I can only assume the posters ( 11:46 and 9:30) have walked through infertility as both mentioned adoption. " 9:30" said straight up it took another woman's womb to bring about her own motherhood. I would say that's definitely "walking a mile"...
DeleteAnon @ 11:53 The two posters above that I was refering to were 11:46 and 9:08 as I included some of what they had said, both of whom did not mention fertility struggles only adoption. Many people adopt and have biological children with no infertility involved. Their comments sounded very harsh to me, and if you have been through the pain of infertility you would think people could show more empathy towards someone who is obviously still struggling with it.
Delete@4:40. I am "11:46". I assure you I have "walked the mile". I have suffered several miscarriages, been on fertility drugs, and buried my oldest daughter. I am not without empathy or understanding. What I refuse to abide is self-pity. So many women become so engrossed in their infertility they become obsessed with it. They ruin marriages, friendships, and quite frankly their own lives. As I stated I was able to carry a biological child and adopt....and I can't remember which one is which even though they are of different races and color. I am their Mother. It's shameful to me that in the Christian world adoption is still viewed very much as a last resort...not their own..second best. * Anita* whom you feel I have been harsh about is the prime example. She's been trying for nearly a decade to conceive. Says she cries EVERY DAY! What does that do to her poor husband? She states she's always wanted babies...but only "her own". So...was I harsh as you claim? Not intentionally, but I'm sorry if it sounded that way.
DeletePrayers to you both! My sister waited twelve years and finally got pregnant and now 16 years later she is a momma of 3 children! All 3 came naturally and in Gods time! God bless you both!
ReplyDeleteIs it true a woman can only get pregnant once in a month? Right after that time of the month?
DeleteNo..You can get pregnant any day of the month. But you're much more likely to get pregnant during ovulation (typically about 2 weeks after the start of your period, if you have a regular 28 day cycle) and the days surrounding it. So if you want to avoid getting pregnant, you need to use birth control every day of the month. If you want to get pregnant, I suggest buying some ovulation tests. They sell them at Walmart and similar stores, but they can be pricey when you buy a lot of them. They sell them super cheap in bulk on Amazon. Hope this helps :)
DeleteI have done lots of research on this topic, and I assure you that there are only a handful of days each month that a woman can get pregnant. This is a family friendly blog, so I won't go into detail, but I encourage you to research it. When done correctly, natural family planning is often more accurate than the pill.
DeleteI had two biological sons, whom I cherish, but was unable to get pregnant again. I had always wanted to adopt so began to look at that option. We adopted our daughter from China and received a blessing equaling and every bit as special as the births of our sons. I know now, why we did not have another biological child....because we were meant to have this amazing child enter our lives and become our forever daughter. She is now 20 years old, and this child of my heart filled the hole in my heart, completed our family, and has been a joy in our lives. Maybe there is a child meant for your life at this time that is not biological. "To the world, you might be just one person....but to that one person, you just might be the world".
ReplyDeletePlease, please pass this information on to the Bates. One of the most well-known fertility clinics in the world is in Omaha, Nebraska. Physicians come from around the world to study there. I am attaching the link. My daughter went there. The waiting room is virtually filled with photo albums of all the couples who struggled with fertility issues and now had children due to Dr. Hilgers. http://www.popepaulvi.com/about.php
ReplyDeleteYes! I have heard great things about them!! I also know someone who conceived after going to one of their affiliate doctors. There might be a doctor that is affiliated with them in Chicago.
DeleteI hope Michael sees this. It may be her answer.
DeleteMy son and his wife had trouble conceiving. Doctor said it was from lazy sperm, and to stop wearing 'tighty whities' and start wearing boxers. Must have had something there--6 weeks later they were pregnant. They now have 2 beautiful girls and my son still wears boxers...anyway, make sure Brandon isn't the issue...even something as simple as boxers and tighty whities can affect sperm count and motility...
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm happy you have grandchildren this is WAY to much information. Seriously, you still know what kind of underwear your married son wears?? Um...eww...
DeleteWhat grown man still wears tights whities?
DeleteLOL@11:42!! Thought the same thing!
DeleteSome men still wear briefs obviously or they wouldn't have them for sale. I have heard that it can make a difference. Thank you for sharing that since not everyone knows.
DeleteI heard this I too and heard many couples having children right after their husbands switched their style of briefs into boxer shorts.
DeleteMichael and Brandon...My heart breaks with you. I know how you feel. I on the other hand had an 80# tumor that I nearly lost my life. I almost didn't make it to my first anniversary. It breaks my heart every time an episode shows some one having a baby, I am happy for them, but then my heart cries over and over because I will never be able to. I pray God blesses you Michael and Brandon with many children. Love your show and your whole family. <3 <3
ReplyDeletehow awesome of michaela to share her heart on this painful part of her journey, especially were so many of us can relate! i hope she knows how many people she is helping by doing so. unfortunately, this might be the ministry she is supposed to be doing right now. she is such a wonderful role model for so many young women. i hope that by sharing her grief with us, her fans & followers, that we can help her through this too.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you. God never fails us his love is unconditional.
ReplyDeleteMichaela, do not give up hope. My sister in law had trouble conceiving but she did have a daughter. It took a few years waiting but it did happen. I think you should start adoption process too. God bless you dear.
ReplyDeleteJust wait on gh Lord. So many biblical women go ok matters into their own hands and look what happened? Just wait on the Lord.
DeleteThe Lord gjves you the desire of your heart...Wait on Him. Seek His wisdom and His comfort.
DeleteMicheal and Brandon,
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about something this week that may encourage you. In church we are studying Exodus and the birth of Moses. I wondered what it must have been like from Jochebed's perspective. She had this baby that she loved and yet Pharoah ordered to kill all the Hebrew boys. Did she wonder why this was awful thing was happening? Why she had to hide her son? Why she had to put him in the Nile? How hard it must have been to have to go through that. I'm sure she wondered what God's plan was, but she couldn't see His plan at the time. I'm sure she was grateful He was found, but at the same time sad she couldn't raise her own son and that he didn't know who his mother was. But in the end we know that Moses was used for an amazing purpose and that God had a big plan for his life. I can't imagine how hard it was to be able trust God when she had to give her baby away, but we can see how God is sovereign and trustworthy. We just have to remember that in the tough times.
Also, I happen to be reading Daniel and the same thought crossed my mind. Daniel was a good man, and yet was thrown into a fire and again into a lions den. While he had great faith, I wonder if he ever wondered what God's plan was. And the same with Joseph when his brothers sold him into slavery. Was he distraught over his circumstances? And yet we know how great God's plan for his life was!
I pray that while you may wonder and hurt, you continue to trust and love and glorify God. I pray we all do the same in our various trials in life. I too have questions and struggles of my own, and I hope can remain strong through them. I want God's purposes to prevail! I pray for peace for you!
Dear Micheal,
ReplyDeleteYou are extremely brave to share your struggle. I know how real the struggle is. Being 1 of 9 children, my husband and I took 4-1/2 years to have our first child and in that time many of my siblings announced pregnancies which was very very difficult to accept (although I was happy for them!). I, like you, thought "why me?". There were many tears and dark days but if I could give u any comfort please know there are many, many people praying for a miracle for you! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. May GOD bless you and Brandon. I think of you often!
I wonder if Brandon was tested also. My husband and I also struggled with infertility. First I had issues going on and then he did. It broke my heart to see all of these ladies getting pregnant. Finally when my mom didn't have the heart to tell me one of my cousins was pregnant. I remember telling God I give up. And after I stopped focusing on getting pregnant I did. I know it doesn't always work that way. And I know Michael's heart to get pregnant. I do believe God will answer the desires of her heart. Praying for you Michael. Thank you for sharing your struggle so we can support you and know you aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteGo get some fertility acupuncture and start taking Maca.. we got pregnant in two months of doing them. Praying for you Michaela xx
ReplyDeleteSo maybe the problem is Brandon. Is he willing to go?
ReplyDeleteWhat I learned through my journey with my husband in building a family, despite infertility, is that what's right for one person, is not necessarily right for someone else. Something I would never tell another couple facing infertility is, "You can always just adopt, because there's plenty of children in need of a home- or you should try IVF." It's a safe bet the couple is already considering every option available by consulting with doctors and/or adoption specialists. Neither approach is a simple matter. We chose international adoption because at the very first informational meeting we attended, we looked at all the smiling faces of adopted children whose photos greeted us as we walked through the door. My husband and I looked at each other and knew this was it- we felt like we had come home.
ReplyDeleteIt also helped tremendously to hear our social worker say, "When you become parents, not if." Our son and daughter are now grown and we love them no less than if we had conceived them.
The Keilens are young yet, married less than two years. If they truly wish to be parents, they will know, just like we did, what the right path is going to be. And I can assure them, it will be worth the wait and the hurdles along the way.
My Parent's-in-law had to wait three years before they were able to conceive but then they ended up having 12 children!
ReplyDeleteHas Brandon been tested??
ReplyDeleteTesting the man first is standard procedure in a fertility work-up.
DeleteMichaela, I would like to share my story with you. I got married 14 years ago. When I was newly wed, I wanted to be a mother right away but I couldn't get pregnant and I prayed and prayed and nothing,but I asked God to give me. Patience and peace to continue waiting because I had the hope God will give me children.after 5 years of marriage I finally got pregnant and had a girl then after 5 years I got pregnant again with my second daughter. Just trust in the Lord and wait his time not ours.God has everything under control and He knows when it is going to be.God bless you and your husband and your future babies.
ReplyDeleteWhile waiting, marvel at the beautiful marriage you have. Remember how you lingered to be his wife? Keep the magic of that love going? Enjoy being a couple. Once the kids come your time will be divided.
DeleteHello,Michaela and Brandon
ReplyDeleteDon't lose hope !I truly believe that god is going to bless you guys with a child. On his timing and when he does I don't think it's going to be one baby but more then you guys could ever imagine cause he's a god of given more not less. Stay strong Michaela keep the faith your children's are on the way.💑👪🚼🚼🚼🚼😍😊
Thank you for being so transparent about your struggles. This was incredibly encouraging. I can completely understand what you are going through. I pray that God would give you the desires of your heart as you continually desire to make Him your everything. I recently read a book called seasons of waiting by Betsy Childs Howard and it talks about the season of waiting for a child. It's a small simple book but packed full of encouragement and truth and left me hopeful and my eyes set on the Lord and His plan and purpose for my waiting. I would like to encourage you to read it.
ReplyDeleteThank you again for sharing. God bless you both.
Michaela,
ReplyDeleteYour story is a blessing, I too struggled. Cousins got married because of pregnancy and yet I could not get pregnant for 3 years after marriage. When I decided to trust God and let him open my womb, peace abounded. I am happy to say we have four grown children. God has a purpose and a reason, but I do understand mother's heart. Will be praying for his will and timing.
Trusting God does not guarantee that He will "open the womb."
DeleteSaying this implies that someone who remains unable to conceive is somehow lacking in spirituality. You were lucky. Sometimes in life, all you can do is play the cards you are dealt the best that you can.
Anon @ 10:34. I totally agree with you. Having faith is wonderful and can bring comfort and hope, but it doesn't always bring an answer. We are all at the mercy of our biology, and it is a very complex thing, and there is still a lot science has to learn about why it doesn't happen for some. It is heartbreaking for any couple, and as you said you sometimes just have to go along with the hand you are dealt and hope and pray for the best.
DeleteNothing is impossible with Our Lord and Saviour. God will open your womb. Stay in prayer and rejoice in God your Saviour.
Delete11:29- Your reasoning suggests that if someone remains unable to conceive, it's their fault for not trusting God or praying hard enough. I would not find comfort in your advice.
DeleteHas Brandon been tested? They need to quit focusing on getting pregnant, take a vacation & possibly bring back a souvenir!! Worked for us after battery of tests showed husband with low count. Went away, had a great trip& 9 months later-our daughter!! Simplistic I know. Just relax & God will hear you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you mean well and it's great that you had a child. However, to tell anyone going through infertility to "just relax" is terribly insensitive. You may have gotten pregnant whether or not you took a vacation. What works for one, may not work for everyone.
DeleteTrue. But more often than not thag woman is right. Michael needs go go on sith life. Relax. Keep herself busy, even if you tell yourself it wont happen, this causes the body to relax, and you will. Give it time. Anyway, This woman is being encouraging, not insensitive !!
Delete11:34- There can be physiological problems that lead to infertility and no amount of "relaxing" is going to solve the problem. That was my case case, anyway. And yes, I thought it insensitive for other people to tell me just to relax, when they had know idea what was going on.
DeleteWe as Christians know, God is in control. Once we accepted Him as our Saviour, we are children of God. He are His. He answers our prayers. Wait on the Lord Michael. Wait. How many biblical married women lost hope and made a mistake on this issue? They rushed the matter. Sarah. Hannah. Rachael.
Deletewhy is it that so many couples want children but have difficulty conceiving while other people have them at a drop of the hat and abuse and kill them?
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy, isn't it?
DeleteI have four young children, and two of them were planned. The other two were a surprise. We love them dearly, but sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out. Sometimes I look forward to them growing up and moving away. Its too easy for me to get pregnant, and I don't want any more kids. NO MORE! I respect others wishes to have lots of children, and even pray for lots of babies for those who want them...but yeah...its a huge responsibility and there is no room for yourself anymore. Just my honest thoughts...
DeleteBecause....You were thinking about getting lregnant....You were relaxed. And it is true. Once you have one, others follow.
DeleteInfertility is often times made even more difficult with platitudes offered by well-intentioned people. "Just relax, it's God's will, just adopt" seem to be the favorites. Such comments minimize the impact of grief and loss. And it is a loss, a significant one, except there's no funeral. It is coming to terms with the death of what might have been. Those who are unable to have biological children and desperately want to should be allowed to mourn. Hopefully, the Keileins will one day have children join their family, whether it's biologically or through adoption. My wish for them is that the journey not be a long one. If they don't have children at all, they will survive and find joy in their lives together and with family.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion for those who feel compelled to offer them trite words of advice: Keep in simple instead- say only that you are thinking of them and acknowledge that you cannot fully understand how difficult it must be. And definitely, do not ask for a baby update! Also, if you have your own infertility struggle to share, ask them if they want to hear it. Sometimes, it can be overwhelming to hear other's complicated stories.
Life seems unfair, but we were never promised that it would be.
Micheal has decided to share for a reason. She is not viewing it as a funeral, though She is in great pain. She comes from a God fearing family and Brandon does. They trust in their Living God who hears and answers prayers. She seeks comfort, advise and encouragemsnt. God Bless her.
DeleteJust from reading these comments, I can see that God is using this trial to allow Michaela to be a blessing to others. I hope they are eventually able to have many children of their own, as they would love to do, but maybe God will give them other people's children to love on instead. My aunt sadly never had children of her own, but throughout her life she had many opportunities to be there for other people's children.
ReplyDeleteIt is pointless to try and rationalize or explain the unexplainable. To do so only adds salt to the wound, especially your statement about having opportunities to "be there for other people's children."
DeletePerhaps you misunderstood what I meant. My aunt was an incredibly loving person who was able to give time, love, and attention to many, many children over her lifetime, both as a professional and as a foster mother. Although she was never able to have children of her own, she found many ways to be there to love, support, teach, and encourage other people's children. Some of those children had parents who were unable to take care of them and she filled in the gaps. God used her to affect so many more children than she could have had on her own. As I already stated, I hope Michaela and Brandon are eventually able to have a houseful of children, but God may be able to use that love for children in a completely different way. I don't think it's pointless to speculate about that possibility.
Delete8:51- I know exactly what you meant. You were trying to be comforting by offering your perspective on what God's plan may have been for your aunt. Unless you have experienced unresolved infertility, you have no idea how patronizing some comments or advice can come across from well-meaning people. I heard it all- "It's God's will, trust in the Lord, He has other plans for you, you can be there for other people's children, etc., etc., etc." Whether you realize it or not, you are unintentionally minimizing the pain and anguish felt by those who are unable to have biological children. It's like saying that losing out on plan A isn't so bad because God meant you to follow plan B or C. Leave the counsel up to the clergy, doctors and/or therapists. Just say, "You have my heartfelt prayers and sympathy" and leave it at that.
DeleteSo many of us wish we knew. I had 2 miscarriages and our beautiful miracle my daughter. Then we went on to loose another 12 pregnancies, as we watch people leave babies in hot cars, abuse them etc. I will never understand why our house so full of love was not chosen to bring home more children. So many of us know the struggle, the emptiness, the feelings of hurt and anxiety, the jelousy, the plain frustration of not being able to do something that we as women were designed to do. not to mention everyones advice of just let it happen, it's gods will, when you stop trying so hard it will happen. sometimes that just isn't the answer and even if it is it doesn't make you the woman who can't do as your body was designed feel any better.
ReplyDeleteThe struggle is real and is always there, even after my husband said enough was enough and had a vasectomy, I still long for another little one as our precious miracle turns 17
I haven't read all 90+ comments, but am I the only one who thinks it a little sad that something a private as fertility issues has to be shared with the world because they've been married for two whole years and haven't had a child yet?
ReplyDeleteI would imagine that this couple fields a lot of questions and felt a certain amount of pressure to share, considering the family's values regarding not preventing pregnancy and having a lot of children.
DeleteMaybe they're hoping to find an answer in just one of the many responses that could actually help them. Listen to the wisdom of others, and maybe learn something helpful.
DeleteMichael was looking for sypathy. She is a strong woman. She wasn't looking for comfort, she finds that in the Bible. She was looking for some advise. What roads should she take? She is going through so much. Encouragement is the best thing to give to her. For all the advise offered to her,I am sure she is grateful for them all. I find some of these comments painful and I hope they do not add to Michael anguish.
DeleteMichael and Brandon, I pray for you and all those struggling with infertility.
ReplyDeleteI know all too well this unbelievable heartache. Our infertility journey is a little different from most in the fact that I actually get pregnant quite easily, but I am unable to sustain a pregnancy. We lost our first baby, a boy, at 16 weeks. We have struggled with recurrent pregnancy loss and have had 8 miscarriages over the last 4 years. The hurt is indescribable. We have had numerous tests and treatments, but nothing has proven effective yet. I pray the desires of your heart are fulfilled someday soon. Remember you are a beautiful young woman with so much to offer. You are loved and cherished by so many people. Keep praying, keep searching, and don't be afraid to seek a second opinion if needed. Above all listen to your heart and don't let other people's stories, suggestions, or sometimes insensitive comments bring you down. There is no "right or wrong" way to go about this journey.
My recurrent pregnancy loss work-up has determined I have:
1. MTHFR C677T homozygous mutation
2. PAI-1 homozygous mutation
(These are both clotting disorders that are treated with aspirin, folate, and lovenox)
3. Hashimoto's thyroiditis and elevated TPO antibodies (treated with levothyroxine and briefly selenium)
4. Low vitamin D (tx with VitD supplement)
5. We have also tried progesterone and estrogen supplements.
6. Planning to use Neupogen next along with everything already meantioned.
So many sad stories.
DeleteA friend if mine tried to get pregnant but couldn't for 4 years found out she had a tear in her uterus so she can never have kids. Her and her husband tried to adopted but got turned down. I don't know what for.
ReplyDeleteMichael get checked out. If nothing is wrong be grateful.
DeleteHonest question here. They, and according to everything their family and those who affiliate with their doctrine adhere to, preach leaving the number of children they have up to the Lord. Yet , when they have trouble with conception they do everything *humanly* possible to conceive. Now I believe science is wonderful so don't have any issue with it, but do find it rather peculiar they choose science for conception, but condemn it for birth control. If they truly believe it's all up to God why wouldn't they believe it must not be His plan for them to have biological children?
ReplyDeleteThe only information shared so far is that the Keilens have undergone fertility testing. Whether or not they are taking extraordinary medical measures to conceive is unknown.
DeleteFair question 5:54. One I think many on here have wondered themselves. The other question I raise is the presumed assumption those who can conceive very easily and subsequently have baby after baby are more "blessed" than those who are not that fertile if at all. I have a hard time with that concept. As if those women are like spiritual teachers pets so to speak. Father God says He will withhold no good thing to those who love Him. But..sometimes we need to get out of our own way and ideas for His ways are higher than our ways. Building a family doesn't require they all look the same. God is so very much a creative God; and the creator of families. Sadly, I believe those in the "secular world" are much more embracing of this. Aren't we, The Christians, admonished to care for the widows and orphans? Yet, it is Christians who primarily have the hardest time with adoption...I know this first hand. When I adopted my child it was the Christians who were the most against it--they said "you never know what you're going to get. The sins of the Father..or the worst...now maybe you will have enough faith to believe for one of your own". That last admonishment was given to me by the woman who ran the church nursery. I was there to dedicate my precious child to the Lord, not be told she really wasn't "my own". The "world" embraced her whole heartily. Not one negative comment. Christians need to do a much better job at this. Just my two cents, but having lived it I speak from experience.
ReplyDelete8:40: As an adoptive mother, I am horrified to hear your story about you experience with supposed Christians, who were so critical of adoption. One can't help but wonder if these same folks are as vehemently opposed to abortion. Who do they expect to be responsible to take in the unwanted children they feel should be given a chance at life? I hope you found another church in which to bring up your child.
DeleteWhat?? What's so wrong with Waiting on the Lord?!
DeleteWe got married at age 26 and 27. A year went by and there was no baby. We were a normal couple and talked about adoption but it didn't feel right. I'm sure every couple who struggles with infertility talks about adoption. Well the years rolled on and we had found out I had a problem but the help out there was either not told us or not available yet. I went through times of not going to the doctor because I just couldn't face it. When we were married about 7 years I was a mess cause I couldn't lay not being a mother down. My husband helped me to see some things and as I talked to God He helped me to be thankful for my husband and our life. Shortly after our 9 year anniversary my husband felt like we should go to one more doctor and that was so hard for me. Yes I still wanted a baby but I did not want to be disappointed like I had been numerous times before. I told my husband if he felt so strongly I wanted to trust him but I needed him to pray for me because I couldn't bear another disappointment on my own. I got up my nerve to go to the doctor fully expecting that God would just show us in His gentle way we had a role as a couple with no children and He would give us joy even then. Well long story short,4 months later I was pregnant at the age of 35. We didn't pursue IVF because it didn't feel like God wanted us to do that and adoption was the same thing. Every couple had to find what God wants them to try. We now have an adorable baby boy who is almost one and I know (we know) my problem hasn't gone away and we don't know if our little one will have a sibling. I'm trying not to think that far down the road but am truly cherishing every moment with our miracle baby. God gave him to us and we can get dissatisfied or we can cherish the long nights and not focus onthe little attitudes he is showing already. God knew when we were ready to have our family and I thank Him for that. I'm not a perfect mother but I have a promise that this baby was sent by God for me and God makes no mistake so on that I can go forth trusting in His strength to be the mother He wants me to be.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story.
DeleteGod Bless you and your family !!
DeleteInteresting, all these comments about God being in control and following His path. Since the beginning of time, bad things happen to good people. However, I do not believe this is ever God's will to pick and choose what befalls any of us. It's simply this thing called life, which often has us all at the mercy of time and chance. Being human, our bodies fail us. Having faith in God and prayer may help us through our struggles, but it's no guarantee that things will work out the way we want or expect them to. Perhaps God's intent is best described in a quote from Helen Keller: "Character cannot be built in ease and quiet." We are left to choose how to respond to our trials. I do hope that the Keilens' dream of being parents becomes a reality.
ReplyDeleteThd Bible is my answer. The answers are all there.
DeleteGod is in control. We must turn to Him. He hears. He lives.
DeleteThe Bible is the word of God , written by men, inspired by the Holy Spirit. This can not be denied.
DeleteRead the book of Job, bad things do happen to good people, you're right. And this is what God wants so that we can be stronger Christians. God doesn't always answer our prayers the way WE think they should be answered, but that doesn't mean he doesn't hear, and isn't necessarily a bad thing. Romans 8:28
DeleteWhen I was first married we struggled and ended up needing medication to get pregnant the first time, then the babies began to come. We just had our fifth. It was easy to doubt God's goodness through the pain, but when we looked back, we can see just how God used that time to really prepare us for parenthood (and 5 kids in 7 years). Looking back, it seems like a long time ago. While I wouldn't want to repeat it, God definitely used it for good. It's tough because we can only see a small part of God's plan and He sees the big picture. I hope that Michaela and Brandon will be expecting very soon.
ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiration.
DeleteI think one thing that can be taken from ALL of these posts is that a lot of people are sorry this young couple are going through this, and send them all good wishes, love and prayers and hope their dearest wish comes true.
ReplyDeletehello Michael,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you are dealing with. I was diagnosed with pco in 2010 and have been married for 7 years. both sides of our family did not have a hard time with starting a family. I cry all the time in bed, bath time, and even in church recently. i feel like its not fair that everyother woman can get pregnant and not me. i have ran test and the doctor says unexplained fertility. we turned to foster to adopt and have fostered two children but they went back to family. all we want is to have children of our own. i too feel angry with god why me??? i am 36 years old and i feel that part of my life is over. i feel alone in this world in way that no one understands what i am going through.
You are not alone. The Lodd hears. And other christians myself included heard youl I will pray for you often.
DeleteYou are not alone I will pray for you. Don't despair. Jesus hears. He lives.
DeleteI struggled to conceive as well, like so many others and I just want to thank you for your honesty, and your ability to share your story. When we were trying to get pregnant it was encouraging to hear other women's stories and to help me feel like I want alone. God bless you, and keep the faith. You'll be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMY PRAYERSARE WITH YOU. NEVER GIVE UP AND HAVE FAITH IN GODS TIMING.MAKE SURE NOT ACCEPT THAT WHICH HASNT BEEN GIVEN. GOD IS GREAT AND HAS AMAZING PLANS FOR YOU. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED ONE OF YOUR SISTERS BEING A SURROGATE? GOD IS GOOD AND I BELIEVE YOU WERE PUT HERE TO BE A MOM! ❤❤
ReplyDeleteMY PRAYERSARE WITH YOU. NEVER GIVE UP AND HAVE FAITH IN GODS TIMING.MAKE SURE NOT ACCEPT THAT WHICH HASNT BEEN GIVEN. GOD IS GREAT AND HAS AMAZING PLANS FOR YOU. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED ONE OF YOUR SISTERS BEING A SURROGATE? GOD IS GOOD AND I BELIEVE YOU WERE PUT HERE TO BE A MOM! ❤❤
ReplyDeleteMICHEAL AND BRANDON : MY DAUGHTER WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE SHE WOULD NEVER CONCEIVE A CHILD. SHE DID. TWINS. SHE SWEARS IT WAS EATING A LOT OF SWEET POTATOES (During the Fall 2 years ago). SHE LOOKED IT ON LINE UP AND FOUND IT TO BE TRUE. TRY IT. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.
ReplyDeleteI heard the sake thing. Eat sweet potatoes Michael, you have nothing to lose, all to gain !!
DeleteMichael, thank you for sharing your story. Your faith and honesty are amazing and very inspiring. I just wanted to put a plug in for looking into a fertilitycare clinic with a doctor who uses Napro technology. It's a method developed by a Catholic doctor that respects the marriage relationship and the woman's body, is scientific, and completely pro-life. There are clinics all over the country. They've been very helpful and won't try to push ivf or any other morally objectionable practices on you.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I desperately wanted to start a family. After being married for 3 years I finally became pregnant. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Nine months later I became pregnant again and we had our precious little girl. We then began to try for another baby, but it didn't happen when we thought it would. Nearly four years after having our little girl, our son entered the world. They are best friends!
ReplyDeleteHow sweet!
Deleteyou have so much love to give to a child and there are so many children in Chicago area in need of a good foster home perhaps that is why you are in Chicago Perhaps becoming a foster family will help to heal your heart and dry your tears. I know it would certainly help heal the heart and definitely dry the tears of a child in foster care to be loved by such kind and thoughtful people as you and Brandon.
ReplyDeleteDear Michaela,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your troubles ! I suffered from unexplained infertility too, and I was devastated. Quite worried as well, as I was 36 years old when we got married ! But now at 38 I am finally 2-months pregnant, so don't give up on hope! It happens !
I tried acupuncture to boost my fertility on the right days of the month, I went to see an ostheopathy pracitioner who massaged my uterus (from the outside of course) as he considered it was "stressed out" and I focused on eating plenty of food with vitamins B6, D and E, and zinc (took a supplement for that one) as they are supposed to naturally boost fertility too. I do not know exactly what worked, maybe a combination of all of it, but it is really worth a try as there are no side-effects anyway ! You can also try acupuncture for relaxation, I know it's terribly hard to relax in those circumstances, especially when everyone tells you too !
I am sure that all the lovely people here praying for you will help you and your husband as well. I am glad to hear that he is being supportive, as that is really essential.
I wish you the best, and above all a peaceful heart <3
A friend from France
Beautiful story and great advise. Hope Michael reads all these stories that are encouraging and helpful and when her prayers are answered I pray she write a book based on God s unending love and the Promises that He has given us.
Delete2 Samuel 6:23. Please please pray into this. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any hidden ties that may be binding you. There is so much power in names in the Bible. I am not accusing you of anything, or implying sin is in your life. I think it may be a spiritual problem not a physical one. I share your grief, I know your heartache and pain. I have 7 little blessings in heaven that were all miscarried between 6 and 12 weeks. Not all our problems are physical. When no reason medically is revealed then pray and truly seek the Lord for answers. The Lord told me very clearly why I miscarried. We were in an Idolatrous church, which we left, as being part of that church and sharing communion with them each week caused this to happen. God's word is truth and does not change but endures all generations. We now have children Praise His Holy Name. Hosea 9:14 Give them wombs that miscarry and breasts that are dry. You see when we un beknown get into things in our modern day that are idolatrous to God the same consequences will happen. Please pray as it is hard to explain but nevertheless it's the truth. Maybe it is a simple and change your fellowship or change your name, whatever the Lord lays on your heart, remember He is full of compassion and loving kindness, and HE is not the one holding back any blessings from us. In Christ's unfailing Love.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you two. Infertility is the biggest pain and struggle we ever went through as a couple. We likely wpuld have had success with fertility treatments, but over time, we gelt God leading us to adoption instead. I won't say it was an easy journey, but I am the proud momma of an unbelievable six year old boy who brings joy to everyone he meets. We have never been pregnant in 11 years, and as we are no longer young, likely never be. But I am happy and content and thankful. I truly feel God led us to where we are, so keep praying for the right path.
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