-Michael Bates Keilen
This Thursday on an all new episode of Bringing Up Bates, join Michael and Brandon as they visit Dr. Vick, the Bates' OB/GYN. He reviews all the tests the Keilens have gone through in Chicago and performs one final diagnostic procedure.
Michael has said recently that if the results are not what she and Brandon are hoping for, they plan to "take a break and enjoy each other and maybe start this journey again later..."
If you are unable to tune in, we will give the details in our recap on Thursday evening.
Photo courtesy of UP
I so hope that God will choose to bless them with a little one soon. And if not by Michael birthing a baby, then that they will decide to adopt. Or both would be even better! I know a lady who tried for four years to have a baby. She adopted a little boy, and then birthed a little girl just 13 months later. So sweet!
ReplyDeleteI pray that you get the answers your looking for. I also pray that the Lord blesses you with your special bundle of joy. Keep the faith. I love watching the show. May God Bless you and all of your family.
ReplyDeleteThis is a honest question:
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why the Keilen's are seeking infertility treatment. As I understand their theology, they believe that children are a gift from God and to be treated as such. If they believe God will do with their family what He wants to, why are they taking control into their own hands? I don't understand how actively working for more children than God "wants" is different that preventing the conception of children that God would desire. Please help me understand. Thanks!
I agree. It makes no sense. Take it as a sign that you have another purpose in this life. Adoption maybe? Plenty of children need a loving family.
DeleteWow, good question! Wonderful start to a great conversation.
DeletePerhaps I’ll lead here with this. We know conception is the “norm.” So a failure to conceive is indicative of a problem and seeking answers to a problem is ok.
That being said, your point is well taken on the switch in belief rolls. Humans will always seek what they perceive as blessings. In biblical times women gave their servants to their husbands to conceive children when they themselves could not, or we’re not allowed to by the Lord. God allowed the servants to conceive and give the household children. So it seems that “seeking a way” to conceive or otherwise have children to raise is within biblical practice?
This question has been asked many times over. Their ideology allows for scientific medical intervention (Erin requires it also) to conceive and sustain pregnancy, but oh my goodness it does not go the other way! I am 100% a pro-life Christian, but I also believe God gave us wisdom to know how to space and choose our family size as well. Anyway, good luck getting an honest answer.
DeleteInfertility is an illness - it's not the way a healthy body is supposed to work. Christians are called to be stewards of their bodies and keep them healthy. If anything medical can be done to restore health to natural functions (such as Erin receiving shots for her clotting disorder), then it's absolutely OK to take action.
DeleteIf the infertility remains unexplained by science, I'm pretty sure Michael and Brandon will accept that as God's will and perhaps consider adoption. I don't think they will venture into unnatural conception such as IVF or surrogacy.
They would probably tell you that they are seeking to remedy a potential physical issue, whereas contraception is preventing a natural process from occurring. (I don’t agree with their stance on birth control.). It does seem contradictory to be a champion of God’s will,
Deleteyet go to great lengths to change things if you’re not liking the outcome.
IMHO, fertility treatments are not interfering with God's plan. Man has created an environment that bombards us with toxins, and causes various health problems that can change the makeup of our bodies, even before we are conceived.
DeleteIt would be ideal to bring the body into balance naturally first, but we live in an unnatural, tainted world, so sometimes medical treatment is warranted.
I don’t think the Keilens are planning on ivf they are just trying to find out why they can’t have children. There are many reasons a couple can’t have children and are struggling. They are just making sure they know why so they can either accept and realise it’s not medically viable/realise it’s something that’s in the Lords timing and just hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes infertility is caused by conditions that cause a woman to have severe menstrual pain so this should be considered too.
DeleteHey 5:01, that's a good question, I think the answer would be sometimes a part of your body isn't working properly and it can be fixed with the help of doctors - like with Erin's blood clotting disorder-. The Bates obviously don't think fixing a problem is wrong. Using birth control pills on the other hand is making your body change in an unnatural way, and can have negative side effects. I don't know if the Bates are against all forms of BC, I just know Gil and Kelly made the choice as a couple to have as many kids as God let them, but if one of their kids choose to do differently, I don't think they'd care.
DeleteIt’s just like the parable of the man who was drowning from a flood. A boat, a helicopter, etc all came by and he turned them down saying God would save him. He drowned, and when he got to heaven asked why he didn’t save him. God answered “I sent a boat and a helicopter for you, but I could not make you take them”
DeleteFertility treatments and testing are tools along this journey. They aren’t a guaranteed a cure. If God didn’t want them to exist, do you truly think they would? Just because someone uses fertility treatments doesn’t mean they will have a child (I should know after nearly ten years of struggle with fertility), and many believe that it’s up to them to use all the tools they can to fulfill Gods will.
God has allowed for doctors to have the knowledge to help people that can't have children, so why not utilize that? To me, not taking advantage of those opportunities seems akin (though certainly not on the level of) faith healers that only choose prayer instead of established medical practices to heal treatable illnesses. Erin had to work with doctors to have viable pregnancies, too. They must really feel the calling on their hearts to be parents, and have faith God will get them there through one route or another--and sometimes you have to actively seek it out!
DeleteGood points!
DeleteSometimes our bodies don’t work properly. When your body isn’t working the way it should, it is natural to go to the doctor’s office to find out why. The Bates have never been against going to the doctors office. I had a thyroid problem that made it hard for me to get pregnant. My cousin had some issues that caused her to need shots to keep a pregnancy going. God does give life, but sin has made our bodies where they don’t always function correctly. God has also given doctors the ability to help us when there is a problem. The only way to know if it is a physical problem that can be remedied is to consult with a doctor.
DeleteGod is the life-giver, and each new life is an absolute miracle. ❤️
DeleteBut, sadly, sometimes the systems within our sin-cursed, imperfect human bodies don’t work the way that they should. Sometimes we get sick: thank God for medicine that can aid with healing! Seeking treatment and resolution for health problems that arise isn’t wrong, and I believe that applies to this type of health issue as well. :)
And who’s to say whether God “wants” them to have kids or not? Maybe He does want to give them children, but for a purpose greater than our understanding has not allowed it yet. I hope this might shed some light on your question. :)
anon@11:43- It then stands to reason that God has also allowed medical advances in birth control, to help people not have children if they don't want them, or plan the number of children they want to have.
Delete10:57- Good analogy. It's entirely possible that God sent us birth control to save us from having children we are not prepared for emotionally or financially.
DeleteHopefully, Dr. Vick finds the answer and wouldn't it be wonderful if Michaela is already pregnant!! That would be such a great surprise
ReplyDeleteI feel for Michaela. Please remember to cherish and nurture what you have and not what you wish to have.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure you mean well, but I think your last sentence comes across as a bit patronizing.
DeleteDo they not believe in IVF or any other fertility treatments? That’s probably how they’ll conceive if their tests don’t come back “good”. (Or adoption). But besides that, I hope they finally get the baby they’re praying for!
ReplyDeleteThey've never given an answer, but I think they're looking more into what could be preventing them from having a baby, then into fertility treatments specially.
DeleteIVF is not permitted for multiple reasons but mostly because not all embryos are implanted and that means they end up being killed. If you believe, as the Bates do, that life begins at conception, this is not acceptable.
DeleteOh, okay. Thank you guys.^ (:
DeleteAnonymous @3:41. Thank you for clarifying this. So many people have no idea IVF always involves the destruction of embyros as well as a child being conceived outside of the marriage act. It is not God's design for His Church.
DeleteNonsense, you can CHOOSE!!!!!!!! to fertilize only one egg a troll a time......you don't throw away embryo's. Even if you fertilize more, you can DONATE them....don't lie please.......
Delete8:28- According to the Bible, God approved of men using their servants for procreation purposes if their wives were infertile. That was certainly outside of the marriage act. It was adultery.
Delete9:48am....Just because the Bible records that men had children by servants does not mean that God actually approved of them doing that. The Bible records many sins, but those sins are not given God's approval.
DeleteKitty Meijer, I tell no lies. They do not implant one single embryo. That is far too costly with a great risk of the embryo not growing. As far as freezing or "donating" a human - does this sound like God's will for a soul? To say that I am lying without producing evidence is not in good will.
DeletePraying for the both of you!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for them. Hope your birthday was wonderful Michael!
ReplyDeletePraying the Lord's best for Michaela and Brandon.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone else noticed that no group pictures of Tori’s wedding party have been posted? The picture of Tori and Michael at the wedding is a head shot with the bouquet in front of Michael’s tummy. I think she is pregnant and they have been saving the announcement for this episode.
ReplyDeleteFertility issues are very difficult to cope with. The woman definitely feels like the sore thumb compared to other women, at least I have. The sad thing about infertility is that it is often "unexplained". The good thing is that there are treatments out there that are successful in helping couples conceive AND age plays a major role. As someone who has gone through two IVF cycles at age 38, I encourage this couple to seek fertility treatment while they are young. Best of luck and God bless us.
ReplyDeleteNot all Christians believe IVF is ethical. Not sure about the Bates, but I would doubt they would take that route. As a Catholic, this is never an option.
DeleteHey 8:39, first let me say that I'm so sorry you've had to experience infertility, and my following statement is not in anyway supposed to be mean or slanderous. That being said, I don't think infertility is ever unexplainable. Most ingredients in products we use daily are full of toxins that can cause infertility. Makeup, soaps, perfume, candles, etc, however the ingredients in these products are still allowed by the FDA. It's very sad and so so wrong. I hope your IVF cycles were successful, along with any you may plan to have in the future!
DeleteAnon 8:24 - that’s what I was going to say too. As a Catholic myself and as someone who is walking the road of infertility, my husband and I had to take a long hard look at what the Church teaches and whether it was something we truly believed. It was a relief to find that both of us were in agreement with one another, and at that moment, I felt a bit of peace because it felt like God had closed the doors on the options we thought we had open to us, and left the door open on the one he really wanted us to walk through (adoption).
DeleteThank you Anonymous @2:25. That was a much needed testimony to this discussion. As a Catholic, I don't know where I would be in my faith without the Church to lead in wisdom and in the Holy Spirit!
DeleteAs somebody who struggled with infertility for 5+ years, I really feel for her. The tests are expensive and often uncomfortable/painful. The medications have undesirable side effects. The disappointment each time you see only 1 line or get your period is heartbreaking. After finding the right doctor is finally happened for me. I hope they have the same success.
ReplyDeletePraying for you both! I have been married for almost 15 years and on our 1 yr anniversary we started praying for a baby. God had different plans for us and it has been just my hubby I. Although we continue to pray for our miracle God has showed us to enjoy our marriage and enjoy all the other blessings he has bestowed upon us. My hubby and I love each other very much and I can honestly say that we do have a happy marriage. I see that happiness in your marriage, may God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteThese are incredibly wise words. My sentiments exactly.
DeleteThey can always adopt. There are millions of kids in America in the system that could use a good home.
ReplyDeleteThis statement to anyone who has gone through infertility is just like daggers to the heart. Yes, there are millions of children in America that could use a good home, but in reality, the courts do not want to severe parental rights, their ultimate goal is to put the children back with the parents.
DeleteAs someone who has lost multiple pregnancies, these kind of statements are so hurtful. Having a body that doesn't do what is designed to do can be all consuming, and isolating at the same time. The kindest thing you can say to anyone going though these issues is, i'm here for you if you ever need to talk.
Michelle- You are misinformed. There are many, many children languishing in foster care and many more are available for adoption, but are overlooked because of their age. There's also a severe shortage of loving and qualified foster parents. I agree with your statement that telling an infertile couple to "just adopt" is insensitive and rude.
DeleteSometimes you have to struggle for things and life is a journey ! I was told once by a famous fertility doctor that no matter how good of a doctor she was, if God did not want someone to have a child He would not allow it. Therefore there is no harm in seeking answers and medical assistance because God is all powerful and in control. There should be no fear of “playing God” to fear that means you think a doctor is somehow more powerful than he is. Seeking help is a proactive approach.
ReplyDeleteYour doctor was wrong and if any medical professional had told me that during my infertility journey, I would have run the other way. I think it preposterous to tell someone that God may not want them to have a child and it was a cop-out to say it. Not to mention, it's downright cruel. Yes, sometimes doctor's are not sucessful with their treatments, but It's physiology-not some unseen deity saying "no."
DeleteI wish I were young enough to carry a baby for them. Perhaps one of her sisters will be kind enough to offer to do that for her if things don't work out?
ReplyDeleteFor heaven’s sake. She is just 28! She has over a decade to have kids. If she would just RELAX, perhaps her stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, would recede to the point where they’re not interfering with normal ovulation patterns, etc.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, I certainly hope Brandon has been tested too. Has he been forthcoming about potential issues??
As someone who has gone through fertility treatments (with success eventually) no one is guaranteed to be fertile into their 30s, and when people tell you to just relax it increases further anxiety and guilt that it is all your fault
DeleteHi KitKath,
DeleteDetails on the tests that the Keilens have had done will be given on tonigth's episode. The show starts at 9pm ET/8pm CT, and our recap will be on the blog when it's over.
Have a great day,
Lily and Ellie
KitKath- I'm sure you didn't intend for your post to come off as
Deleteinsensitive, passive-aggressive, and patronizing... but it did. By the way, any competent fertility doctor will test the man first because it's a walk in the park compared to some of the stuff that a woman has to go through.
I am willingly to bet all the people who have said they can just adopt have never had issues with fertility, it's condescending, also I hope they do IVF if that's what they need to conceive, God blessed the doctors to help us so they should be able to seek whatever treatment they need without judgement
ReplyDeleteI think that everyone who actively demonstrates against abortion and lobbies to change the law, should be required to sign a pledge that they will adopt or foster at least one child at some point. It could be like the military draft. When your number comes up, you are under an obligation to serve, barring any unforeseen or extenuating circumstances. What better way to show commitment to being pro-life? (Yes, I am an adoptive mother who is also pro-choice.)
ReplyDeleteWho is going to pay all the attorney fees for people to adopt children? It is a very expensive, time consuming process. Not everyone has the money or time to go through it. Birth parents have to sign away their rights and not all of them are willing to do so. It can be a heart breaking process when people bond with a child and then the child is given back to the natural parents.
Delete11:04- Sounds like excuses to me. Expenses can be offset by a very generous adoption tax credit. I know it helped us tremendously. As far as children being given back to birth parents, you've likely heard scare stories in the media. The number of cases where this actually happens is very small. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but why would someone let that prevent them from persuing adoption and providing a home for a child?
DeleteThere are many children available for adoption who are stuck in foster care. I have adopted children, and yes there is paperwork and home studies. However, from the time we applied to the time the adoptions were finalized was less that 18 months for both children.
You don't do anyone any favors by painting such a bleak picture of adoption. Anyone considering it should talk to adoption professionals and adoptive parents. It sounds like adoption is definitely not be for you.
Regarding IVF, you do not have to have extra embryos destroyed. They can be frozen or donated.
ReplyDeleteI am a senior citizen who experienced unresolved infertility. My husband and I learned this: At some point you have to ask yourself what's more important- experiencing pregnancy, childbirth and having a child who is biologically connected to you- or simply being a parent. We had enough of years of unsuccessful, invansive and expensive procedures and decided that it would not be a catastrophe if we didn't procreate. However, it would definitely be tragic if we didn't open our hearts to children in need of a loving home and family. Our kids are all grown up now. We wouldn't change a thing.
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes to the Keilens. I hope they understand that fertility does NOT define you as a person.
It is a shame that there's misinformation regarding IVF in some of these comments. Embryos don't have to be destroyed. They can be frozen or donated. Regarding the comment that it's unethical due to conception being facilitated outside of the "marriage act"- I highly doubt that a child conceived through IVF is done so with any less love or commitment than
ReplyDeletethe traditional method. Believe what you wish, but don't discourage others because of your own bias or ignorance.
Freezing embryos is not ethical. There are currently over 400,000 unwanted frozen embryos.
DeleteI agree!
DeleteI almost had IVF done for another baby. After years of trying . We found out I had s block tube.
DeleteI was getting ready to take the IVF class when I found out we got pregnant.
We did many tests and all were good with me except I had one block tube.
Just two months after the test we got pregnant! With no problems getting pregnant with my other 2 I knew there was something wrong. I was also still at a young age.
I want to offer my sincerest heart-felt thoughts to this couple. While I do not know the outcome of your journey, I can tell you I deeply appreciate what you are going through. I cannot have children as I am physically incapable. It has been one of the most devastating events to live through. It is very painful to watch your friends and family reproduce and you sit there with a smile and try to appreciate their joy when you are crumbling inside. I know surrogacy is not likely permissible by your religion so my hope and wish is that you find your solution and answers that work for you. And maybe one day, you will be some of the lucky ones to have a miracle that I will never be granted. Thoughts are with you all.
ReplyDelete