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Thursday, March 29, 2018

'Can You Have a Wedding Shower Without the Bride and Groom?' Recap

Bringing Up Bates "Can You Have a Wedding Shower Without the Bride and Groom?"
  • “As the wedding gets closer and closer, you realize that your time with having Tori as your little daughter is going to be shorter and shorter,” says Gil. He takes Tori out on a daddy-daughter date for some quality time one month before the wedding.
  • First, Gil takes Tori to Fountain City Park. They go swinging at the playground where Tori used to play as a child. “Tori and Dad have a very special bond,” says Erin. “Tori is very sentimental and funny, sometimes a little bit spacey, and I think her and dad just really hit it off together.”
  • Gil surprises Tori with a gift, a vase filled with branches. Paper bills and purple ribbons are tied to the branches. “I know you’ve always thought that money grows on trees, so I got you a…money tree,” explains Gil. “On these sticks right there are thorns. I got the ones with thorns on it so you realize if you’re living for money, it’s going to cause you pain.” Tori loves it.
  • Gil and Tori walk across the street to Litton’s steak restaurant. While they wait for their food, Gil brings out photos of Tori as a child. “I was not going to cry because I’m saving that for the wedding,” says Tori.
  • “It’s going to be really sad when you’re gone,” Gil tells Tori, choking up.
  • “Even though I didn’t necessarily express it, the memories I made with him that night…it was the sweetest thing,” says Tori. “I think of everything internally. I don’t always express it outwardly, but deep down, it means a lot to me, and it’s a big deal.”
  • Later, Whitney brings Kaci to Crown Cosmetology School so Josie can give little Kaci her first haircut.
  • Josie is about to graduate and is eager to find a job. “I just absolutely loved walking in that salon and seeing Josie there,” says Whitney. “She’s blossoming into her own person and her own career, and she’s good at what she does.”
  • Michael and Brandon come into town to help throw Tori and Bobby a wedding shower at Valley View Baptist, the church that Erin and Chad attend. They are expecting 70-100 guests.
  • Erin recalls her own wedding shower, as she and Whitney help the Keilens decorate: “I don’t know if I take it as a personal thing because we planned for 150 to 200 people to be at my wedding shower, made all this food, sent out all these invitations. Nobody came except for nine people, y’all.”
  • The guests arrive, but Tori and Bobby are nowhere to be found. “Tori and Bobby and Josie and Kelton are all missing,” says Gil. They are out shopping for groomsmen attire. Finally, they arrive. “Tori has always been known for being late,” shares Erin. “She’s just like dad, she’s pretty much late to everything.”
  • While the guests eat, Kelly brings Tori and Bobby to the front to answer questions about each other. Tori freezes up and can hardly speak.
  • “Tori’s very outgoing, but when you put her up somewhere where she’s the center of attention, she doesn’t like that at all,” says Jackson.
  • Bobby breaks the ice by talking to the guests on the mic while Tori opens the gifts.

34 comments:

  1. Oh, dear. Tori's going to have to work on her comfort with public speaking, if she's going to be a school teacher and pastor's wife. Hopefully she'll adjust well.

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    1. Time 11:50PM
      Aww so sweet what Gil did for Tori a gift with branches made a funny joke about money growing on trees best recap ever.

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    2. I am a pastor's wife and no one has asked me to do any public speaking. I am not in any way a co-pastor. My husband is the called and ordained pastor and I am not. My vocation is to support him as his helpmate and to raise our children. I am not the "head" of the ladies at church. I help as needed but being the pastor's wife does not make you in charge of everything going on at church. There are many wonderful and capable people who were there before me and will be there after we move on to another call someday. We are Lutheran, perhaps others do it differently.

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    3. I did not enjoy the gift Gil gave Tori. He said she's always acted as if money grows on trees, not a flattering light to put her in at all. Not something I'd appreciate from a spouse, makes her sound like a spoiled child.

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    4. Not necessarily. I'm the wife of a pastor and dislike public speaking greatly. I'm very shy and he made a point of telling a congregation when we first got there that it takes a while for me to open up and I'm better at one on one than a whole crowd descending on me at once. They were really kind about that and listened. I taught on Wednesdays from time to time but still had a lot of nervousness.

      I also don't play piano or sing in a choir. Lol. Maybe I'm just atypical.

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    5. Tori was very rude. This is not the first time she comes off like that. She makes excuses for her bad behavior. If she can't handle it, then she needs to get the heck out of the spot light. Don't put your shower or wedding out there for the world to see. Many people took the time to go to her shower and spend hard earned money for a gift for her. She was totally rude and obnoxious. She was very disappointing!!

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    6. I agree, even Carlin said "Tori, you have a lot of making up to do" and she still had to be reminded to say thank you. 8 years ago is when I first saw her on the Duggar's show when they went down to help the family build up the house and she was making fun of the Duggar girls about the way they were painting the doors. She is immature and sarcastic and I can't wait for the show to get the spotlight off of her. I feel so sorry for Bobby, he is going to have a lifetime of having to make excuses for her shameful behavior!

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  2. Tori needs to learn some proper etiquette. I hope TLC did a poor job editing this episode, and she was more grateful than she appeared.

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    1. The Bates are not on TLC they are on UP.

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    2. TLC dont make the Bates show UPTV do!

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    3. The show is through UPtv now, not TLC

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  3. Funny she gets on camera before millions but felt awkward in front of 100 people. Late for her own shower? Too bad she didn't consider all those people she kept waiting on her. This lateness is common with another large TV family.

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    1. She was very rude and made excuses for her rudeness, totally unacceptable.

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  4. Okay maybe Tori does indeed suffer from stage fright, but this episode did NOT show her in a good light when it came to the wedding shower, though she was sweet in her scene with Gil.

    But she was shown not just being late, but then not participating in a game that seems pretty standard and expected to be played in pre-wedding events in their social circles. Then she was shown just opening presents and not even really looking at them or expressing thanks to the givers. (I hope she sent really nice thank you notes later.)

    This plus the way she treated her own aunts during her wedding planning really gave me the impression that Tori is acting like an ungrateful, spoiled child, not a mature woman ready to get married.

    I really hope this is just a consequence of the editing, and that Tori will not be shown that way in other episodes.

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    1. I share the same opinion. And have expressed it before. They seem to young to be married when they behave this way.

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    2. In the talking heads segment, Carlin had to remind her to say thank you. And being habitually late is not funny or even cute. It is rude and disrespectful. I'm sorry but Tori has not behaved in a manner in which her parents should be proud.

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    3. Tori was just plain rude at her shower.

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    4. So maybe UP didn't make Tori look her best, but who's ever known a reality show to be 100% accurate? So maybe Tori was kind of antisocial seeming at her shower, but wouldn't you be overwhelmed too? Maybe not speaking as much, not playing those games, were her way of taking a break after the constant stress of a wedding. Also, Tori is very extraverted! It's not like this is a pattern! I just think we don't have a place to judge her here.

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    5. Anon at 7:48AM: Well for what it's worth an "Alice Hull" posted on this blog that she was at the event in person and what we saw on TV from Tori is pretty much what happened for real. As she is giving her full name, and her comment passed screening, I'd tend to believe her.

      Indeed, if anything I'd think UP would prefer to edit the show to make Tori look good, not bad. She is pretty much the star of the show right now, the way Michael was the star during her "Courtship and Marriage" story arc.

      I also realize that while Tori appears comfortable in front of the camera being interviewed (1) the crew has been following the family for years now and she's probably comfortable with them and (2) even if she wasn't they can just keep doing retakes.

      So I can see why Tori would still freeze up a live event in front of a hundred people, not all of whom she knows that well. I really do hope her actions had to do with wedding jitters and are not representative of how she acts in everyday life.

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  5. Completely satisfied birthday baby, love and companion of
    my life.

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  6. I enjoyed the episode but did not enjoy what seemed like an ungrateful attitude.

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  7. I feel bad for Erin and her wedding shower... and Tori freezing up was very surprising. Gil's money tree was funny, though. :)

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    1. I didn't think Gil's money tree was "funny." I thought it was sweet and filled with love. I just wish Tori had truly acknowledged her dad's affection and effort instead of saying that now she can pay for the wedding.

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  8. I am not comfortable with public speaking either. It takes time and practice. Tori , I am sure, will do well as she gains experience:)

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  9. I'm sorry but it was painful watching Tori. Together with her indecisiveness shopping for her dress makes me wonder how she will ever teach. I'd have thought being in front of TV cameras would have helped with that.

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    1. She does not see the audience when she is being filmed.

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  10. I love the Bates family but Tori’s attitude was embarrassing for me and I’m not a part of the family! The camera guy and Carlin had to tell her to say thank you for the gifts!

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  11. I am a retired teacher and I understand that some people have a hard time with public speaking, but Tori needs to work on her communication skills. That's the one skill teachers must have, the ability to communicate. Acting goofy or laughing it off just doesn't work. And being told to thank everyone for coming to her shower was pathetic. Also to Erin- I'm so sorry about your wedding shower. You're a wonderful young lady and I can't figure out how that happened! The people who showed up are true friends, not just looking to be on TV. God Bless you and your sweet family!

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  12. I’m hoping Tori’s actions can just be chalked put to immaturity although if that is the case, getting married at this young age is not going to be easy.

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  13. I cringed as I watched this episode. Tori came off as ungrateful and rude pretty much the whole episode. :( This one was almost as bad as the engagement episode.

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  14. We were at that shower, only we couldn't find the church and were later than Tori and Bobby. I am afraid I have to agree with many of the comments. Bobby, however, is a gracious, sweet young man. I enjoyed talking with him. Also at the wedding. The wedding shower for Erin that we attended was well attended. She must have been speaking of another shower.

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    1. Alice, the looks on the guests face told it all. This was not a case of poor editing. I was appalled and for the first time questioned the wisdom of the Bates family to continue raising their children in front of the camera's. I am not concerned with their modesty/dating standards - I am concerned with their vanity and selfishness. They have lost the innocence that attracted me to them. I think Kelly has become quite pushy and a spendthrift as well. Each wedding seems to become more and more of a production. I came from pretty humble beginnings and was honored with 5 bridal showers nearly 40 years ago. I am certain Erin had more than the one she mentioned.

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  15. I understand how Tori feels with public speaking every one gets shy at times so there is no need to be rude. She is not on this earth for you to judge she is human just like you and me. So if you have something me to say keep to yourself.

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  16. All I can say is, "Good luck, Bobby."

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