Gil Bates and Kelly Jo Callaham met in a college chemistry class and were married one semester before graduation. Gil was 22, and Kelly was 21. On tonight's episode, you'll hear more details of their love story (video preview below).
Photo/video courtesy of UP
Oh wow! I definitely saw Erin and Tori in a picture of Kelly Jo and in that one picture of Gil wearing a basketball uniform, he looked exactly as Lawson does now!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see tonight's episode
ReplyDeleteI don’t get the double standard they set for their kids? What’s wrong with dating?
ReplyDeleteActually, they didn't set a double standard. As they said in a previous post, they don't like the standard people usually have for dating. For them its more about dating seriously and thinking about marriage, not just because a person has a crush.
DeleteAs Gil himself stated:"We have chosen a route that we didn’t even know about when we were growing up."
DeleteSo the Bates weren't themselves raised with the traditions they are now raising their children in. (Neither were the Duggars.) That's not a "double standard".
As for "what's wrong with dating", I think the whole "courting" phenomenon among conservative Christians is fairly new, only about 20 years old. It seemed to come about as "dating" garnered a reputation for being unchaste, encouraging a non-commital approach to relationships and even contributing to divorce rates. The book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" really made "courting" trendy starting in the 1990s. The Bates got married before that really was a thing.
I think if that's the way they choose to raise their children then so be it.
Delete@11:12-I think your info about courting and it's timeline is correct.
Delete10:05- What is the "standard" for dating, exactly? You'd likely get different answers from every person you ask. When I was in high school and college, you dated to get to know others. It may or may not have led to anything serious. I think the conservative Christian trend toward courting is "going steady", as we used to call it, with chaperones all the time. In one way, the term may imply a wedding is in the future, which places a lot of pressure on a couple. Perhaps they think of courting as more of an engagement period. In any event, I do not feel regret, guilt, or that I'm emotionally scared from having dated and had relationships with more than one guy before I got married. It's all about what makes you comfortable and happy in the long run... or whatever your religion tells you is the right thing to do.
DeleteThe "standard" for courting is also very different depending on who you ask. Pretty much all the proponents of it can agree on, is that it's NOT dating. Even the Bates have started to hedge the definition when they refer to "dating with a purpose" and the way they court is very different from the Duggars; much more of a "pre-courtship" period, and the Bates courtships have gone on longer for the most part than those of the Duggars.
DeleteChaperones are NOT an inherent part of courting, either. BTW courting was never a thing in my social circles, but I once met a woman in the late 1990s who stated she wants to court, not date, and dressed very modestly, as in high neck tops and mostly skirts, but she also wore pants at times, didn't have chaperones with her all the time, was in college, and wanted to go to medical school; she obviously she wasn't part of the IBLP movement.
If they don’t want to give their hearts away or date multiple people why can’t they just be friends with people of the opposite sex and if it leads somewhere if it doesn’t than no big deal. Being friends takes the pressure off of not dating and wanting to save yourself. They could do group hangouts and if they like a person spend some one on one time talking to them to get to know them better.
DeleteAnon at 7:11AM: That actually IS one of the courtship models, that young people socialize in groups first as friends, and if they feel called to pair off then they can court. That's pretty much what happened for Joy/Austin, Joe/Kendra and Si/Lauren.
DeleteThe Bates approach to courtship is a bit different, though, because they acknowledge a "special friend" and then "boyfriend and girlfriend" period before the official courtship starts. Josie and Kelton met 3 years before their official courtship started, but they had to wait for Josie to turn 18 as the Bates don't allow for courtship younger than that, that makes sense if the point of courtship is to discern marriage.
They said the show was going to be an hour, but it was only a half hour and then they cut into another show. I hate when Up does this.
ReplyDeleteAwe sweet stuff
ReplyDeletetime 11:34AM Fri 5/18/18
ReplyDeleteKellyJo looks just like Erin when she was younger. Gil was hot when he was in his 20s. cool photo of them being married.
We thought that show that popped up as a preview on the Bates show wasn't going to last long. I would much rather have seen the Bates.
ReplyDeleteI see why they have such beautiful kids!
ReplyDeleteThat mustache.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah...that mustache for sure!
DeleteSeeing the old pictures was nice and i noticed for me who the adult kids look like... Nathan was carried by Kelly but that's Gil's twin. Zach, Lawson, Alyssa, Carlin & Josie lean toward Kelly. Michaella, Erin, Tori, Trace and Katie ( i know not 18 YET, but close enough) look more like Gil.
ReplyDelete