This week on Bringing Up Bates, hear the Bates family discuss courtship. We think you'll find this video preview to be fresh and entertaining..and perhaps a bit awkward.
The video didn't come up for me so what I say may be addressed already and I don't know it. But when G & K say the couple gets to set their own rules, I hope that is sincere and that the couple is not "guilted" into having the rules G & K want them to have. If a couple decided they didn't want a chaperone, for example, would that be allowed or would the response be that of disappointment or disapproval, thereby making the couple think they'd let down their parents for making that choice. Or if they though sharing a kiss was okay, would that be allowed? (I'm thinking here of Zach and Whitney confessing that they kissed). They obviously seemed to think they had done something so wrong they had to confess it to Zach's parents as well as their preacher (Gil). If they decided a kiss could be included in their chosen courtship rules, there would be no reason to confess even if they decided to alter the rules after the courtship began.
Cant wait for Josie an Kelton or carlen an Evan to tie the knot super excited I hope after marriage both couples will settle in to young married life an wait just bit on the baby making yes it makes for good tv but their all so young id love to wach them settle in together before babies come into the picture seemed like Tory& Bobby got pregant really quick I would jusr really enjoy seeing their lives unfold little bit just the 2of them before babies start but super excited for new season weddings please both will be such beautiful brides sooner rather then later hopefully ....love to see Trace, Nathan or Lawson settle down soon for at least one of them love to see courtship take off for them that would be awesome we always seeing girls lets get one the guys soon
What happen to Carlin and Evan? Are they engaged too or what? I thought was wanting to get married asap? I'm all confused on who is the oldest children now?
While Bates engagements have all been short, essentially just long enough for practical wedding planning, their courtships have varied in length. Michaela and Brandon courted for well over a year before getting engaged. One reason for that, is because they were waiting for Brandon to finish Bible school.
Carlin and Evan are also both still in school; Carlin is taking Crown College courses on-line (though I forgot what her degree was, it was either music or teaching) and Evan is training to be a professional electrician. That's probably why they haven't been officially engaged yet.
While Josie is younger than Carlin, she already has a job in a beauty salon, and Kelton has his plumbing business. They've also known each other 3 years (and maybe a few months more). So I'm not at all surprised that they got engaged earlier after a shorter official courtship.
Carlin and Evan are still courting while they finish school. Everyone assumes they are not yet engaged. If you mean who are the oldest kids still at home, it would be in order Lawson, Nathan, Trace, Carlin, Josie and Katie.
While I know the Bates have discussed their approach to courtship before on both the show and a blog Kelly Jo used to write, it is interesting to find out more information. I do recall the part about chaperones maintaining some distance from the couple to allow for private conversations.
It also seems the parents are less strict with the younger courting couples than they were with the ones who were the first to court and marry, and they have alluded to this but only vaguely, so it will be interesting if they discuss these changes. I do know that Kelly Jo discussed on her old blog that they did reconsider many things after Zach's first courtship, which took place under very conservative rules (essentially NO touching), did not result in a wedding.
And while I doubt they will cover this as the episode will likely focus on Josie/Kelton and Carlin/Evan, I do get the sense that Zach was rebelling somewhat in his relationship with Whitney, who came from a very different background than the Bates. They are happily married now so I guess all's well that ends well, and I give the Bates credit for being willing to reconsider their beliefs when ideals clash with reality.
Zach rebelling?? He stopped off at a cafe regularly where Whitney used to work and they chatted and began to share their problems with each other and it grew from there as soulmates. Whitney is also from a praying Christian family. Mystified as to why you think Zach rebelled. Bobby is from different Christian background with TVs, parental home in gated community by lake... So Tori rebelled too? Also, Kelly & Gil did mention last year that the rules have become more relaxed couple by couple, probably as K & G have grown in confidence in allowing their children to court. However, no kissing is still not permitted and Gil wouldn't let Kelton court Josie until after she was 18yrs. Interesting older sister Carlin has been courting Evan far longer than Josie - maybe K&G didn't think she was ready for next step yet.
Anon @ 11:04 When you make the statement "Zach's first courtship "took place under very conservative rules" that would indicate that the couples indeed do NOT get to make their own courtship rules. And saying kissing is not permitted tells me that Gil and Kelly do not actually let the couple choose their own rules.
Anon at 1104PM again: When I saw "Zach rebelled" by courting Whitney, I mean that the same way some people say "Jinger rebelled" by courting Jeremy, who is also a Christian but certainly has a more mainstream background than the Duggars.
I certainly don't think Zach or Jinger courted who they did JUST to rebel, but I do get the sense part of the attraction was that the person was (slightly) more worldly than their family members or childhood friends.
Yes, Whitney is a Christian, but she wears pants and sleeveless tops and dresses, and did so before she was married as well, and I don't think she came from a courting tradition or a "no kissing before marriage" tradition, either. They certainly weren't introduced through an IBLP conference or mutual family friends the way the majority of the Bates couples met.
As for why Carlin didn't get engaged first; she and Evan have been officially courting longer, but Josie and Kelton have had a "more than friends" relationship for much longer before engagement. And obviously the Bates don't follow any "daughters must marry in birth order" rule, Michaela is the oldest daughter but got married much later than Erin and Alyssa.
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Time 10:17AM Mon 8/13/18
ReplyDeleteJosie looks so much older wearing those glasses. Kelton is cute. Cant wait for there wedding.
Wow! Josie looks just like Alyssa in this picture! It's messing with my head!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt’s messing with me TOO!
DeleteJosie and Alyssa.
Identical Twins Almost!
They are both so tiny!
The video didn't come up for me so what I say may be addressed already and I don't know it. But when G & K say the couple gets to set their own rules, I hope that is sincere and that the couple is not "guilted" into having the rules G & K want them to have. If a couple decided they didn't want a chaperone, for example, would that be allowed or would the response be that of disappointment or disapproval, thereby making the couple think they'd let down their parents for making that choice. Or if they though sharing a kiss was okay, would that be allowed? (I'm thinking here of Zach and Whitney confessing that they kissed). They obviously seemed to think they had done something so wrong they had to confess it to Zach's parents as well as their preacher (Gil). If they decided a kiss could be included in their chosen courtship rules, there would be no reason to confess even if they decided to alter the rules after the courtship began.
ReplyDeleteSay “y’all” much, Zach!
DeleteI actually thought that Josie was Erin at first!
ReplyDeleteYeah me too...
DeleteCant wait for Josie an Kelton or carlen an Evan to tie the knot super excited I hope after marriage both couples will settle in to young married life an wait just bit on the baby making yes it makes for good tv but their all so young id love to wach them settle in together before babies come into the picture seemed like Tory& Bobby got pregant really quick I would jusr really enjoy seeing their lives unfold little bit just the 2of them before babies start but super excited for new season weddings please both will be such beautiful brides sooner rather then later hopefully ....love to see Trace, Nathan or Lawson settle down soon for at least one of them love to see courtship take off for them that would be awesome we always seeing girls lets get one the guys soon
ReplyDeleteEverything in God's timing! I know couples who got pregnant while using birth control and others who use nothing and haven't gotten pregnant.
DeleteWhat happen to Carlin and Evan? Are they engaged too or what? I thought was wanting to get married asap? I'm all confused on who is the oldest children now?
ReplyDeleteWhile Bates engagements have all been short, essentially just long enough for practical wedding planning, their courtships have varied in length. Michaela and Brandon courted for well over a year before getting engaged. One reason for that, is because they were waiting for Brandon to finish Bible school.
DeleteCarlin and Evan are also both still in school; Carlin is taking Crown College courses on-line (though I forgot what her degree was, it was either music or teaching) and Evan is training to be a professional electrician. That's probably why they haven't been officially engaged yet.
While Josie is younger than Carlin, she already has a job in a beauty salon, and Kelton has his plumbing business. They've also known each other 3 years (and maybe a few months more). So I'm not at all surprised that they got engaged earlier after a shorter official courtship.
Carlin and Evan are still courting while they finish school. Everyone assumes they are not yet engaged. If you mean who are the oldest kids still at home, it would be in order Lawson, Nathan, Trace, Carlin, Josie and Katie.
DeleteI think a lot of the Bates siblings resemble except: Carlin, Jackson, and Warden. Just wanted to know who do you guys think their look alikes are?
ReplyDeleteWhile I know the Bates have discussed their approach to courtship before on both the show and a blog Kelly Jo used to write, it is interesting to find out more information. I do recall the part about chaperones maintaining some distance from the couple to allow for private conversations.
ReplyDeleteIt also seems the parents are less strict with the younger courting couples than they were with the ones who were the first to court and marry, and they have alluded to this but only vaguely, so it will be interesting if they discuss these changes. I do know that Kelly Jo discussed on her old blog that they did reconsider many things after Zach's first courtship, which took place under very conservative rules (essentially NO touching), did not result in a wedding.
And while I doubt they will cover this as the episode will likely focus on Josie/Kelton and Carlin/Evan, I do get the sense that Zach was rebelling somewhat in his relationship with Whitney, who came from a very different background than the Bates. They are happily married now so I guess all's well that ends well, and I give the Bates credit for being willing to reconsider their beliefs when ideals clash with reality.
Zach rebelling?? He stopped off at a cafe regularly where Whitney used to work and they chatted and began to share their problems with each other and it grew from there as soulmates. Whitney is also from a praying Christian family. Mystified as to why you think Zach rebelled. Bobby is from different Christian background with TVs, parental home in gated community by lake... So Tori rebelled too?
DeleteAlso, Kelly & Gil did mention last year that the rules have become more relaxed couple by couple, probably as K & G have grown in confidence in allowing their children to court. However, no kissing is still not permitted and Gil wouldn't let Kelton court Josie until after she
was 18yrs. Interesting older sister Carlin has been courting Evan far longer than Josie - maybe K&G didn't think she was ready for next step yet.
Anon @ 11:04 When you make the statement "Zach's first courtship "took place under very conservative rules" that would indicate that the couples indeed do NOT get to make their own courtship rules. And saying kissing is not permitted tells me that Gil and Kelly do not actually let the couple choose their own rules.
DeleteAnon at 1104PM again: When I saw "Zach rebelled" by courting Whitney, I mean that the same way some people say "Jinger rebelled" by courting Jeremy, who is also a Christian but certainly has a more mainstream background than the Duggars.
DeleteI certainly don't think Zach or Jinger courted who they did JUST to rebel, but I do get the sense part of the attraction was that the person was (slightly) more worldly than their family members or childhood friends.
Yes, Whitney is a Christian, but she wears pants and sleeveless tops and dresses, and did so before she was married as well, and I don't think she came from a courting tradition or a "no kissing before marriage" tradition, either. They certainly weren't introduced through an IBLP conference or mutual family friends the way the majority of the Bates couples met.
As for why Carlin didn't get engaged first; she and Evan have been officially courting longer, but Josie and Kelton have had a "more than friends" relationship for much longer before engagement. And obviously the Bates don't follow any "daughters must marry in birth order" rule, Michaela is the oldest daughter but got married much later than Erin and Alyssa.
It would be interesting to know the truth about what Gil and Kelly did while dating!!! I bet there were no side hugs or chaperones!
ReplyDeleteBut I bet it wasn't bad... Gil and Kelly were very religious. They probably just kissed while dating.
Delete