Did you know that Josie and Kelton met in summer 2014, during a piano recital at which both Josie and Kelton's sister were performing? But it wasn't until summer 2015 that they had their first extended conversation and exchanged phone numbers.
After they spent time getting to know each other for a few months, Kelton left for college (Pensacola Christian, where he was Bobby Smith's roommate). As was shared on a recent episode of Bringing Up Bates, Josie then put the relationship on hold after her parents expressed that they believed she was too young. Kelton shares his reaction on the wedding website:
I was crushed. I had never met a girl like Josie, and I couldn't understand what God was doing or why Josie had ended what was just beginning.
But during that year, wise words from his father gave Kelton a renewed purpose, and he focused his attention on his relationship with the Lord, his studies, and working out. During fall break 2016, Kelton was invited to the Bates' beach rental to celebrate with Tori and Bobby, who had just entered a courtship, and the rest of the family (do you remember that episode?). From that day, Josie and Kelton's friendship was rekindled, mostly via long distance, but they did not consider themselves a couple until around the time of Kelton's graduation (with a finance degree) in May 2017.
From there, you know the rest of the story. Josie and Kelton entered an official courtship in January 2018 and were engaged on June 19th during a trip out West.
Photo courtesy of Josie Bates
My sibling got married last year on October 6th. It was just beautiful! Perfect time of year for a wedding 🤵💍👰
ReplyDeleteI’m so confused.I thought they adhered to no kissing before marriage. I’m not trying to be legalistic or stir the pot, but Kelton is kissing Josie. Granted it’s on the head, but a kiss from a non-spouse is still a kiss. So it’s just no smooching( don’t know how to phrase it delicately)? I guess I don’t understand the rules as this is another example that modesty standards are truly subjective. The only thing I’ve read per my Bible that God says is no “lying together as husband/wife” before marriage. Oh the circles of confusion the various rules of courtship seem to produce.
ReplyDeleteKissing someone on the head and kissing someone on the mouth are TOTALLY different
DeleteI think the rules of the courtship are decided upon by the couples as it begins. And it wouldn't be the end of the world if they were broken a tiny bit. Zach and Whitney intended to keep their first kiss for the wedding but actually shared a kiss before their big day.
DeleteLooks like a kiss to me!
DeleteMy understanding is that each couple decides what their boundaries are. Mom and Dad have gave them their rules for dating, but once they are in a courtship or engaged the couples decide.
DeleteJosie and Kelton do seem to be more touchy than the older siblings have been during their pre-marriage stage. You could say kissing "flat on the jaw" as Andy Griffith used to put it. Lol.
DeleteStandards not spelled out in the Bible are upheld in a home according to the individual family. It looks subjective because each family decides what is necessary in their home in order to follow the overall Scriptural command of modesty or marriage, etc.
DeleteHi! The way I've heard is that each couple is allowed to set some of the boundaries for themselves. So that's probably why the difference between Josie/Kelton and maybe some of her siblings. I think Zach and Whitney kissed before marriage, but I'm not completely sure.
DeleteOn the show the other night, Gil and Kelly made it plain the couple does not get to set their own behavior standards when they were setting forth the rules the chaperones had to enforce. In spite of what they have said before, the rules are definitely Gil and Kelly's.
DeleteFor some reason many people don't believe the Bates when they state the couples set their own boundaries. While Zach and Whitney kissing was apparently not premeditated but a "mistake", and they have expressed regret about it, it doesn't seem to have been a big deal in the long run.
DeleteThe Bates have discussed the importance of "being pure" but I don't think they actually see kissing before marriage as "impure" or a sin. I think they see the act of kissing more as taking a risk of tempting the couple into going further, not a sin itself. A little kiss on the forehead as part of a photo shoot is likely NOT going to do that. (Though Joe Duggar would likely disagree, the Bates are NOT the Duggars. Bates also have no problem with "frontal hugs" and many hold hands before engagement.)
That being said I certainly notice there is "peer pressure" in the family as well as the overall IBLP social circle (though the most recent Bates courtships are with men outside IBLP) to conform to a basic set of courting rules. But that's still different than directly ordering the couple "Don't kiss" or "Don't go anywhere without chaperones".
Yum yum, those intimate kisses on the head are intimate! Not even joking. Good for them. A couple in love should have some intimacy between them - it's a very wide spectrum.
DeleteI can't imagine Gil and Kelly are really still making the rules. The courtship/engagement rules of Zach, Michaella, Erin, and Alyssa were so much more strict than the rest have been. I think Gil and Kelly are so busy with the show, kids, work, church, etc to really watch everything going on with all their children. Some things are naturally going to fall through the cracks.
DeleteThey are so cute together
ReplyDeleteThe wedding website is so nice, such a wonderful story by Kelton. The site also contains info on the wedding party and I'm surprised that Josie is having Alyssa as her Matron of Honor. Carlin is a bridesmaid. And Tori is not in the wedding party. I thought Carlin would be her Maid of Honor.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa and Josie have always been very close, even after Alyssa left. For Tori, I think she’ll be 4-6 weeks from her due date at that point? So many they thought it’d be too uncomfortable for her to stand for long periods and pose for lots of pics etc...plus it might be difficult if she grows more after her dress fitting. probably a good call really :)
DeleteWhile I found Kelton's story to be heartwarming and romantic, I hope Josie eventually posts her side of the story as well. As it stands, I get the impression that Kelton is much more attached to Josie than the other way around. At least on the show, she hasn't called Kelton her "soulmate" or the only one she could ever be with or anything like that. On the other hand the show has yet to catch up to engagement, so maybe she will say such things in the engagement episode.
DeleteAs for the wedding party, I'm not surprised myself. Yes, we haven't seen much interaction between Josie and Alyssa on the show, while Carlin and Josie have been "paired" a lot in the show (and "trioed" with Tori at times) as they were dating (I'll use the term since Kelton did) then courting at the same time.
However the Bates DID have many years growing up together before the show and obviously there is more to the sibling relationships than what we see on the show. Also, Tori will be very pregnant by October (she's due in November) and I can see why she'd refrain just in case the baby comes early.
Tori will be highly pregnant so that is likely why she is not in the wedding party
DeleteShe was always close to Alyssa, they mentioned it before on the show so it’s natural that she’d choose her as the maid of honor.
DeleteI agree, it was mentioned on the episode that Alyssa and Josie were very close and that’s the reason she flew in from Florida on her birthday.
DeleteGlos bless you two 🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteEach couple determines the rules or guidelines they use in order to keep far away from temptation.
ReplyDeleteAww getting married on Katie’s 18th birthday!
ReplyDeleteDang marrying at 18 that young. Go live your life girl go to uni be independent
ReplyDeleteJosie turned 19 on August 4, so she'll be 19y 2m when she gets married, not 18. Not too much difference, but just to let you know
DeleteShe’s 19. But they’ve been sweethearts for quite a while. Not much different than high school sweethearts marrying right after high school.
DeleteShe has finished her studies has a job she loves so now why cant she marry the man she loves and shes nineteen same age Alyssa got married
DeleteShe already went through post-high school education. She is already financially dependent because she has a job. She comes across as a confident young woman. She is living her life and it looks like a great life. A good marriage has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your maturity and knowing yourself. Some women are 40 and still not mature. Congrats to Josie & Kelton.
DeleteBeautiful love story about a beautiful Godly couple💞Blessings🙏
ReplyDeleteTori not in the wedding party because she is pregnant. Josie is also getting married on Katie birthday.
ReplyDeleteAnna Duggar was a bridesmaid to Kendra 4 days before she gave birth and it was fine.
DeleteAlso, I don’t like that Josie is getting married on Katie’s 18th birthday. It’s a very special birthday and it should be all about her. I hope they do a fun celebration for her at some point
I'm sure she asked Katie ahead of time and made sure it was ok with her. Also, it's really not a healthy attitude to have an "it's all about me" mentality.
DeleteWanting your birthday to be all about you is not an "all about me" mentality. Especially in a big family, it's nice to have one day be about you.
DeleteEvery pregnancy is different, just because Anna Duggar felt comfortable being a bridesmaid doesn't mean all full term pregnant women should do the same. It's also possible that Tori would have declined even if she wasn't pregnant, considering how awkward she was at her own wedding.
DeleteAnd Joy Forsyth was working on construction projects and going out ice fishing the month before she gave birth, something most people on the Duggar blog thought was unwise. I personally don't think anything was wrong with her doing that, but I wouldn't expect that of all pregnant women, either.
My sister got married on 22nd birthday but I wasn't invited to the wedding. I spend my birthday doing nothing. Her husband family did want my sisters famiky their.
DeleteThats a cute story.
ReplyDeleteThe Bates do not seem to be as strict as The Duggars. (Thank the Lord for that!) A lot of things are similar,but different.
ReplyDeleteWhat does it matter if the Duggars are "more strict" than the Bates? As long as both families are happy, and respect each other's beliefs, it shouldn't matter. Being more/less strict is not something to thank the Lord for.
DeleteWhat a sweet story. I was married Oct. 4th 38 years ago in upstate New York. Beautiful time to get married. May God Bless you both and your marriage as he did I.
ReplyDeleteLove the dress she is wearing! Wish she could share where it is from.
ReplyDeleteHi there,
DeleteJosie's dress is from citrusandlemon.com
Lily and Ellie
So happy for them!
ReplyDeleteLovely story. It seems that Kelton was not aware of the reasons that lead Josie to stop their discussions and interaction. I think he might have been less hurt if the reasons were explained to him.
ReplyDeleteI'd certainly be very interested in hearing Josie's side of the story. While I'm happy they worked things out in the end, I was a little concerned that Kelton discussed how he forgave the Bates. I don't see what exactly Josie or her parents did that required forgiveness.
DeleteIt's certainly possible there was poor communication on her part about why she wished to put the relationship on hold. But if it was a case of her explaining, and Kelton just not understanding because of his own issues, then she did nothing wrong. And Kelton had some maturing to do as well.
BTW I know many parents, not just conservative religious parents who reject "worldly dating" and only date/court to discern marriage, who'd be far from happy to have their 15 year old daughter enter a serious relationship with an older man already in college.
I think he was aware of the reason. But not coming from a courting style of dating culture, i think he didn't understand why he lost his best friend.
DeleteAnon from 1136PM again: I don't think this had anything to do with courting vs dating but with the fact that Josie was only 15 years old at the time. I remember being that young, and I was certainly NOT ready for any serious committed relationship, nor do I recall any of my friends being ready.
DeleteKelton should actually be happy the Bates only advised Josie to put a break on the relationship not end it permanently, and gave their blessing to her courting him at 18 and getting married at 19.
Many who are in a "dating culture" would strongly advise young people NOT to marry at that age, some would even prefer they live together before marriage to "make sure you're compatible!".
Anon 1136, I absolutely agree that the idea of a fifteen year old girl dating/courting/seeing a college boy can certainly be too much for many parents and for good reasons. I think it's perfectly understandable. Josie's parents were not unreasonable in the advice they gave her-far from it, at least in my opinion. My point was that, regardless of the nature of a relationship (friendship, romantic relationship, sibling relationship etc.), one needs to be clear and communicate any thoughts and concerns instead of keeping them to one's self and changing behavior without stating clearly the reasons why. Anyway, it's not my business, so I'll stop here :-)
Delete3:39-The fact that Josie was only 15 years old should've been explanation enough. Personally, I think 19 is still too young to be getting married. Sure, there are many folks who married young and have no regrets. My own parents married at 20, mainly because WWII was raging and dad was to be shipped overseas. (Mom always said that if circumstances had been different, she would've waited a few years.) However, statistics show that the age of the married couple does matter- the younger they are, the more likely the relationship will not last. I suppose the TV fundamentalist families fear that there will be premarital hanky-panky should a wedding be postponed, even for a short while.
DeleteI don’t think he meant that he had to forgive the Bates. He had to forgive Josie. She was young and probably just didn’t know how to end things while keeping the friendship at that time. It was wise for her parents to encourage her to wait until she was older.
DeleteCongratulations Josie cannot wait to see your wedding on the show .
ReplyDeleteSo here are my thoughts on their courtship, engagement and kissing. I've been watching the show since it began and I have a lot of respect for the Bates. What they decide to do is their decision and for their family.
ReplyDelete