Gil needs to come off that 'sad Daddy' act. When you have back to back children, there are going to be back to back weddings. Get over it. Can't they see that they have made their daughters desperate to be married. It's not that they actually want to be married, they are desperate to be given permission to kiss a guy and have/give some affection. So unnecessarily cruel of this belief system.
I don’t believe it that they don’t want to be married. That’s part of life and it’s great they start young. And it’s not cruel to NOT give part of your heart and body to someone you’re not going to marry. It’s called saving yourself for the one God has for you to marry and giving all of you to him/her, not pieces, and not taking regret with you into the marriage. That tends to be part of the emotional baggage in a lot of troubled marriages and these young people are making sure there isn’t that yet on top of everything else. I HOPE they keep up their belief system all through to see the youngest child married. It’s amazing how really in a lot of ways they’re looking out for their children’s future and marriages.
The way we grew up impacts us on how we see life and view things. I’m sorry you were trained to view marriage like that. That it’s a thing to throw around and give yourself away before you settle down. I , for one, really hope you can search out a better way and life to hand down to your offspring and not keep the cycle going of what your parents gave you as a life view.
Well I think their beliefs system encourages being wifes and mothers as the number one goal, so that makes sense they all want that soon. Whereas Gils sadness comes just from a father who's girls are moving on. I think it's just bittersweet for him.
It isn’t an act with Gil. Maybe your dad was happy to have you gone, but Gil would rather keep his girls. They aren’t rushing to get married. Kelton and Josie have liked each other for years and Carlin and Evan have as well. They get love and affection from their parents, so they aren’t looking for it everywhere else I am sorry if that is what you had to do but don’t assume that about other people.
I had plenty of love and affection from my parents; but having love and affection from someone you feel attracted to is very different. The sad thing is if these children had the option to date; maybe the mad rush to marry as the only way to kiss this person; well than marriage it is for them!
7:06, Carlin and Evan dated for TWO YEARS before they got engaged. They love each other, they know each other, by the time they get married they’ll both have graduated from college, what else is there for them to wait to happen until they get married?
703PM: I don't think any of the recent Bates couples have been in a "mad rush to marry". Carlin and Evan celebrated their 2nd anniversary as a couple shortly before the engagement. Josie and Kelton took over 3 years. Tori and Bobby took about 2 years from meeting to marriage. Michaela met Brandon when she was 19, but didn't marry him until 5 years later.
Maybe you just mean they get married young, but if they are convinced they have found the right partner for life, and have a way to support themselves, then why wait just because they're "too young" by some arbitrary secular standard? What is the point of dating and kissing multiple "frogs", really?
BTW as last I checked the Bates hold their boys to the same courting standards; if courting was just about rushing to marry the first person who shows you romantic interest, just so you can kiss, then Nathan would have married Ashley. But they obviously had some irreconcilable differences and they wisely did NOT rush into a marriage.
On the other hand, couples who DO get physical early in a relationship, sometimes get blinded by hormones and wind up getting married when they are NOT compatible at all in the long-term. (Though of course some marry not even planning to stay together long-term...but obviously the Bates do not believe in "starter marriages".
While I go to church, several of my cousins do not. They met a great person in Gr 9 or 10 and got married early 20s and had three kids by mid-20s and all those couples are still married now as they approach 40 yrs old. If you know, you know. Unfortunately, I did not meet anyone to marry for a decade longer than them but I am glad I waited for the physical part as I have no regrets. There is nothing wrong with marrying early if you know yourself and know what kind of person you want.
I wonder if it will be this year or next ? She can't wait to move to Nashville, & Tori will have already had the baby ! There are fun things happening at the Bates house. I bet they can't wait till one of the boys gets married & all they have to do is show up for the ceremony. I wish they just stayed on tv full time - I want to see what all is going on the next months. I am really going to miss this show, nothing else good to watch.
Last year, Tori and Bobby's engagement was announced here on September 21, and they married December 16. Carlin and Evan could be married in the same amount of time...engagement announced September 24, so their wedding could be December 15 or 22!!!!
I might have this mixed up, but didn't Carlin say she wanted a January wedding?? That would be the typical (Bates) waiting time between engagement and marriage.
The affection a poster her refered to from one's parents is not the same kind of 'affection' that one gives and receives with a person you are romantically linked to. Parental affection is not the same thing at all. These adult children are denied those experiences completely until they marry. My parents didn't give me a bad impression of marriage. I married at 24 yrs old; not 18; not 35. Gil was also unnecessarily cruel to Kelton for telling Josie to break up with him and then NOT give the guy an explanation? How bad is that? If I were Kelton's parent, I would have advised him to seek another fish in the sea.The father should not absolutely control the relationship, either.
Part of being a parent is making some choices for your children until they are old enough and mature enough to make them for themselves. How many teenage pregnancies and abortions are there? Gil and Kelly are protecting their children. I was allowed to date as a teenager. I wanted to remain pure and did, but it was very difficult. I don’t want my children to experience the same temptations, so we have chosen not to allow them to date until they are older. Josie and Kelton did need to put a pause on their relationship. Maybe she should have explained to Kelton the reason for it, but she was young (which is also why she didn’t need to be in a relationship- she didn’t understand how to communicate).
People who don’t have parental love look for it elsewhere. There is a security in knowing your parents love and care for you. You aren’t in a rush to find someone else when you know you are loved. None of them are going to look back and say I wish I had kissed other people or made out with other people. They are going to always be thankful that they waited for marriage.
Anon at 446AM: What experiences exactly are to referring to? Kissing? Or more? It seems you equate "romantic affection" to ONLY the physical expressions of such "affection". Hugging someone is not affection? Praising them for their accomplishments (as Kelton did at Josie's graduation) isn't affection?
But maybe you'll say that's something a friend or family member can do, too. Okay, so is singing a personalized love song (as Evan and Bobby did) not count as affection? Fancy proposals of courtship and engagement that take days to prepare, don't count either?
BTW If you speak to most married people they will say there is MUCH more than just the physical aspect that makes the relationship different from any other relationship.
Gil seemed to think Josie was too young and wanted her to break up and wait. It's funny how people criticize that she is marrying too young but also criticize that he asked her to break off the relationship. Seems like some watchers can never be pleased.
First of all, while I like Kelton a lot, his side of the story is just that, HIS side. He said he didn't understand why Josie ended things, but never claimed he got no explanation.
And while I disagree with the idea of a father dictating the love lives of grown women, Josie was only 15 years old, a MINOR in the eyes of the law.
BTW many fathers of 15 year old girls would not take kindly to 19 year old college men pursuing them romantically. They would do much more than just recommend they "take a break", they would threaten to call the police.
I saw you at holy douhnuts in Portland.. It was cool... I knew you were busy... So I didn't bother you... Love your show... Congratulations to you!!! ❤
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Aw congrats! Can anyone else hear Gil crying no we just had a wedding????
ReplyDeleteI hear not another daughter getting married. And then crying because in just over a week maybe 2 weeks now, Josie will be married.
DeleteGil needs to come off that 'sad Daddy' act. When you have back to back children, there are going to be back to back weddings. Get over it. Can't they see that they have made their daughters desperate to be married. It's not that they actually want to be married, they are desperate to be given permission to kiss a guy and have/give some affection. So unnecessarily cruel of this belief system.
ReplyDeleteI don’t believe it that they don’t want to be married. That’s part of life and it’s great they start young. And it’s not cruel to NOT give part of your heart and body to someone you’re not going to marry. It’s called saving yourself for the one God has for you to marry and giving all of you to him/her, not pieces, and not taking regret with you into the marriage. That tends to be part of the emotional baggage in a lot of troubled marriages and these young people are making sure there isn’t that yet on top of everything else. I HOPE they keep up their belief system all through to see the youngest child married. It’s amazing how really in a lot of ways they’re looking out for their children’s future and marriages.
DeleteYes to all of this! Completely agree
DeleteThe way we grew up impacts us on how we see life and view things. I’m sorry you were trained to view marriage like that. That it’s a thing to throw around and give yourself away before you settle down. I , for one, really hope you can search out a better way and life to hand down to your offspring and not keep the cycle going of what your parents gave you as a life view.
DeleteWell I think their beliefs system encourages being wifes and mothers as the number one goal, so that makes sense they all want that soon. Whereas Gils sadness comes just from a father who's girls are moving on. I think it's just bittersweet for him.
DeleteIt isn’t an act with Gil. Maybe your dad was happy to have you gone, but Gil would rather keep his girls. They aren’t rushing to get married. Kelton and Josie have liked each other for years and Carlin and Evan have as well. They get love and affection from their parents, so they aren’t looking for it everywhere else I am sorry if that is what you had to do but don’t assume that about other people.
DeleteI had plenty of love and affection from my parents; but having love and affection from someone you feel attracted to is very different. The sad thing is if these children had the option to date; maybe the mad rush to marry as the only way to kiss this person; well than marriage it is for them!
Delete4:33AM.. and you know “ it’s not that they actually want to be married” how???
Delete7:06, Carlin and Evan dated for TWO YEARS before they got engaged. They love each other, they know each other, by the time they get married they’ll both have graduated from college, what else is there for them to wait to happen until they get married?
Delete703PM: I don't think any of the recent Bates couples have been in a "mad rush to marry". Carlin and Evan celebrated their 2nd anniversary as a couple shortly before the engagement. Josie and Kelton took over 3 years. Tori and Bobby took about 2 years from meeting to marriage. Michaela met Brandon when she was 19, but didn't marry him until 5 years later.
DeleteMaybe you just mean they get married young, but if they are convinced they have found the right partner for life, and have a way to support themselves, then why wait just because they're "too young" by some arbitrary secular standard? What is the point of dating and kissing multiple "frogs", really?
BTW as last I checked the Bates hold their boys to the same courting standards; if courting was just about rushing to marry the first person who shows you romantic interest, just so you can kiss, then Nathan would have married Ashley. But they obviously had some irreconcilable differences and they wisely did NOT rush into a marriage.
DeleteOn the other hand, couples who DO get physical early in a relationship, sometimes get blinded by hormones and wind up getting married when they are NOT compatible at all in the long-term. (Though of course some marry not even planning to stay together long-term...but obviously the Bates do not believe in "starter marriages".
While I go to church, several of my cousins do not. They met a great person in Gr 9 or 10 and got married early 20s and had three kids by mid-20s and all those couples are still married now as they approach 40 yrs old. If you know, you know. Unfortunately, I did not meet anyone to marry for a decade longer than them but I am glad I waited for the physical part as I have no regrets. There is nothing wrong with marrying early if you know yourself and know what kind of person you want.
DeleteI wonder if it will be this year or next ? She can't wait to move to Nashville, & Tori will have already had the baby ! There are fun things happening at the Bates house. I bet they can't wait till one of the boys gets married & all they have to do is show up for the ceremony. I wish they just stayed on tv full time - I want to see what all is going on the next months. I am really going to miss this show, nothing else good to watch.
ReplyDeleteI too wish it was on year round. And you are so right "nothing else good to watch".
DeleteMaybe they'll get married just before Christmas, like Tori did last year
ReplyDeleteLast year, Tori and Bobby's engagement was announced here on September 21, and they married December 16. Carlin and Evan could be married in the same amount of time...engagement announced September 24, so their wedding could be December 15 or 22!!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Carlin and Evan Wishing you a world of happiness and blessings.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
Marilyn,Joan and Marion
I might have this mixed up, but didn't Carlin say she wanted a January wedding??
ReplyDeleteThat would be the typical (Bates) waiting time between engagement and marriage.
I wish it was on longer like an hour instead of 30 minutes which seems to be 20 minutes of commercials and 10 minutes of the Bates
ReplyDeleteI agree. Nothing else is worth watching!. I like seeing a happy family. It's what people dream of but most are unable to achieve it!
ReplyDeleteYou don’t know what goes on off camera
DeleteIsnt flashing your engagement ring making this union about an earthly item and not a Biblical bond between man and wife against the Bates beliefs?
ReplyDeleteNo! Everyone likes to show off their ring once they are engaged. The size and shape of the ring doesn’t matter. It is what it symbolizes.
DeleteUm, no.
DeleteThe affection a poster her refered to from one's parents is not the same kind of 'affection' that one gives and receives with a person you are romantically linked to. Parental affection is not the same thing at all. These adult children are denied those experiences completely until they marry.
ReplyDeleteMy parents didn't give me a bad impression of marriage. I married at 24 yrs old; not 18; not 35.
Gil was also unnecessarily cruel to Kelton for telling Josie to break up with him and then NOT give the guy an explanation? How bad is that? If I were Kelton's parent, I would have advised him to seek another fish in the sea.The father should not absolutely control the relationship, either.
Part of being a parent is making some choices for your children until they are old enough and mature enough to make them for themselves. How many teenage pregnancies and abortions are there? Gil and Kelly are protecting their children. I was allowed to date as a teenager. I wanted to remain pure and did, but it was very difficult. I don’t want my children to experience the same temptations, so we have chosen not to allow them to date until they are older. Josie and Kelton did need to put a pause on their relationship. Maybe she should have explained to Kelton the reason for it, but she was young (which is also why she didn’t need to be in a relationship- she didn’t understand how to communicate).
DeletePeople who don’t have parental love look for it elsewhere. There is a security in knowing your parents love and care for you. You aren’t in a rush to find someone else when you know you are loved. None of them are going to look back and say I wish I had kissed other people or made out with other people. They are going to always be thankful that they waited for marriage.
Anon at 446AM: What experiences exactly are to referring to? Kissing? Or more? It seems you equate "romantic affection" to ONLY the physical expressions of such "affection". Hugging someone is not affection? Praising them for their accomplishments (as Kelton did at Josie's graduation) isn't affection?
DeleteBut maybe you'll say that's something a friend or family member can do, too. Okay, so is singing a personalized love song (as Evan and Bobby did) not count as affection? Fancy proposals of courtship and engagement that take days to prepare, don't count either?
BTW If you speak to most married people they will say there is MUCH more than just the physical aspect that makes the relationship different from any other relationship.
Well said 10:07! I love it! Keep doing what your doing. Your kids will thank you later.
DeleteGil seemed to think Josie was too young and wanted her to break up and wait. It's funny how people criticize that she is marrying too young but also criticize that he asked her to break off the relationship. Seems like some watchers can never be pleased.
DeleteFirst of all, while I like Kelton a lot, his side of the story is just that, HIS side. He said he didn't understand why Josie ended things, but never claimed he got no explanation.
DeleteAnd while I disagree with the idea of a father dictating the love lives of grown women, Josie was only 15 years old, a MINOR in the eyes of the law.
BTW many fathers of 15 year old girls would not take kindly to 19 year old college men pursuing them romantically. They would do much more than just recommend they "take a break", they would threaten to call the police.
The ring is STUNNING!!! So happy for y’all! Many prayers
ReplyDeleteI saw you at holy douhnuts in Portland.. It was cool... I knew you were busy... So I didn't bother you... Love your show... Congratulations to you!!! ❤
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. Such a nice couple!
ReplyDelete