Michaela and Brandon Keilen
Michaela: "When we get all set up, we'll have a game night."
Erin Paine: "I love that. [Are] there free babysitters?"
Michaela, laughing: "I'll babysit, and y'all can play games."
Erin: "Perfect, even better."
The Keilens spent their first holiday season in their new Tennessee home! When they were living in Chicago, they had a larger home, so moving to Tennessee meant downsizing. In this deleted scene from last season, Michael and Brandon have siblings Erin and Chad Paine and Tori and Bobby Smith over to tour their new place in Norris.
Photo/video courtesy of UPtv
No wonder these people keep having kids. They have free babysitters. If it wasn’t Michael, it would be Addie, Ellie or Callie. I’d bet if Erin didn’t have the free sitting she wouldn’t keep having so many babies so fast
ReplyDeleteHey, there Negative Nellie. I will agree with you that the Bates have babysitters any time they want. However that’s not a determining factor in why people have children. I have 5 children under 7 and 0 babysitters. I have never had a babysitter a day in my mothering life, never will, and I hope I have many more children.
DeleteBig families having lots of people around to enable them to have big families with lots of people around to enable big families with lots of people around to have big families with lots of people around to have big families.... seems like a beautiful cycle. If only we could come up with a more sustainable way of living so the earth didn't get destroyed in the process of this cycle I think I would be on board. Until then I am childless watching this family do what I cannot.
DeleteFree babysitters does not mean that they will keep having kids, it means that you are helping out YOUR family, regardless of the number of kids.
DeleteWhen you have small kids “free babysitting” becomes an ongoing joke. It’s one of those things you just say. Not every statement has a deep, underlying meaning.
DeleteThis is why I would never want even a tiny bit of fame.
Anon 6:33. Never say never. How do you know what will happen in the future? Medical emergencies, illnesses, special events. . . all sometimes require a parent to use a babysitter. And children grow and benefit from having another adult perspective. It can also prevent mom-burnout!
DeleteHey 6:33—it’s just plain easier to have children when there are trustworthy sitters close by! It also makes your life as parents, especially parents of many children, easier! Soon enough Erin and Chads oldest will be taking care of his siblings as did Erin in her family growing up.
DeleteI agree Anon 1:27! It’s good for children to learn to respect other adults than just their parents. I’ve seen the destructive side for later on with children that have never learned to respect other adults than just their parents. They have a hard time adapting to the real world out there. And just to have a break from each other every once in a blue moon does each and everyone some good , I’ve found that out! I don’t know how mothers can never take a break from caregiving 27/7. My mental health depended on it and they learn to develop more relationships say, with daddy (if he’s in their life) or another trusted adult!
DeleteI was a better parent because of the sitters that graced my children’s lives.
DeleteAnon 6:33 sounds overprotective and smothering. My kids loved the babysitters who came to play!
Delete"Are there free babysitters?" Ouch, that line made me cringe. I'm sure the Keilen's love their nieces and nephews and want to spend time with them. However, I think that Erin's choice of words were insensitive, considering their situation with struggling to have children of their own. I hope the Kielens won't be relegated to 'free babysitter' status and taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
DeleteCompletely agree
DeleteI agree. That was pretty thoughtless of Erin. You don’t really go to game night at someone’s house, then delegate the host of game night as babysitter, especially if that person is struggling with fertility issues. Erin needs to filter her thoughts before they come out of her mouth.
DeleteSorry, I have 3 little ones, if I was invited for a game night, I would ask if there would be a baby sitter too. Otherwise I'm staying home, I don't need the stress of chasing my kids around someone else's house keeping them out of everything because again, not our home. And I'm not trying to find a sitter Everytime childless couple friends want to throw a get together. To me, if my kids can't come, you really don't want me there.
DeleteKaity- If your expection is that the host should provide childcare for your kids, you're likely going to be staying home... alot. Contrary to what you may think, the world does not revolve around you and your kids. When I had small children at home and was invited somewhere that the kids were not, I hired a babysitter. It's good for the mental health to be able to spend time with adults without your children.
DeleteKaity@2:56- I think it completely unreasonable for you to expect that it's the responsibility of the host of a gathering to find a babysitter for your kids. You should be appreciative that someone, childless or not, is gracious enough to invite you to their home. Otherwise, you are going to be very lonely.
DeleteHow rude. It’s the parents’ responsibility to find a sitter. I’d never ask the host to provide that for me.
DeleteEven Tori thought it was rude. She said, “Erin, you’re terrible.”
DeleteI think it's nice that Michaela offers to babysit, but hopefully the sisters don't take her up on that. She's a full-time student and studying hard...give the woman a break and let the younger girls at home make a few bucks babysitting. Give Michaela and Brandon adult time with the other adult siblings.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if she technically “offered”? I feel like Erin put her on the -cringe-worthy-spot!
Delete"The younger GIRLS at home babysit..." Childcare doesn't have to always fall on female shoulders. The BOYS can step up!
DeleteThe boys—like Isiah or Jackson—would be preferable since they are older. Callie is about 10. I wouldn’t trust a 10-year old with a newborn and three toddlers!
DeleteI don't know, I wouldn't be comfortable with teen boys babysitting my small children, related or not.
DeleteTeen girls are OK but not teen boys? Why? Doesn't it depend on the individual teen? I don't understand this comment at all. I know many teen boys who babysit and are very responsible.
DeleteIt's terrible the way people are so critical of men and boys nowadays. Now boys are too clueless to babysit? I hate male-bashing.
DeleteIt's NOT at all about boys being clueless. It's about protecting young kids who can't explain things from possible predators. I am NOT saying the Bates boys would be predators, but I wouldn't take that chance. Even a "good" kid could be tempted. I know women have that possibility too, but the rates are much higher for guys.
DeleteWhat a terrible thing to say about the young Bates men
DeleteSo teenage boys cannot be around young children? What about teen brothers?
DeleteAddallee is going to be 14 and Ellie is going to be 13, not to mention Katie is 19. Lots of girls old enough to babysit..and you can still throw a couple of boys in there too. Doesn't have to be Michaela
Delete2:29, no one said anything terrible about the Bates guys. In fact, I went out of my way to say that I was NOT saying that. And yeah, 12:26, you just need to be a bit careful with teen boys, related or not. Ask the many people with tragedy in their family because they assumed it couldn't happen to them.
DeleteWhy not consider Jackson, Isaiah and Warden? They are at the perfect age for babysitting. I wouldn't trust young teens like Callie or Ellie to sit for a newborn.
DeleteWow, Michaela just flat out ignored her sisters' husbands when they arrived. Are the women not allowed to give a hug or greet guests in a normal way because they are men? Just wondering. I know they are a conservative bunch, but that surprised me.
ReplyDeleteI first noticed that in a scene where Josh and Anna Duggar had a couple over for dinner and Josh only shakes the guy's hand and ignores the girl whereas Anna side huggs the girl and ignores the guy. Seems to be normal for them.
DeleteI noticed the same thing. 😕
DeleteThat is uncomfortable to watch. When we go to friends’ homes, both the wife and husband greet both of us. Not with a hug, usually, but a warm friendly greeting. I would feel bad if the host or hostess would leave my husband or I out of a welcome. What’s so wrong about saying, “Hi. Good to see you.”?
DeleteI agree, my husband and I are far from all family and we’re done with kids. We just have 2.
ReplyDeleteWe spent our first year without a babysitter nearby and just moved close to my parents. Could't imagine having another one without their help.
Delete6:24 and 1:42. You are both correct. I didn’t have help or family around either, and finances don’t lend themselves to weekly date nights with baby sitters. Our “date nights” are at home with movie DVD’s and popcorn. I’m not complaining at all. I’m very blessed, but two is wisdom for us both financially and emotionally. These extra large families only work because they do have huge amounts of help and are quite wealthy. Good for them, but it’s not “reality” for the majority of us.
DeleteI am the oldest of 14 and am in my mid-twenties. We did not get any help and we were not wealthy at all. We worked hard and didn't live at all like these families.
DeleteMy goodness, Erin just takes and takes.Poor Michaela!
ReplyDeleteAgree
DeleteYea she take advantage of michaela just because she have no kids yet but hopefully god give her surprise this yr or so
DeleteI love how everyone stays connected near or far, love knows no distance!
ReplyDeleteErin is just tooo sweet, and I agree, a total taker.
ReplyDeleteWow! I cannot believe how many followers of The Bates, pass judgement!! Very sad☹ Meanwhile, Love and Blessings to all The Bates.
ReplyDeleteI disagree; people are commenting. Everyone has their own opinion.
DeleteI don’t think people are passing judgement so much as commenting. It’s ok to disagree sometimes yet still think highly of someone. You don’t have to regard everything this family does with adoration. They are human, after all. We all are, and we all acknowledge it.
Deleteyes love seeing the Keilens. Glad there was this clip.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a fake scene. They all seemed stiff and uncomfortable IMO. I agree that Erin's comment about babysitters available was insensitive to Michaela. I don't think those sisters really are as close as they claim to be. Erin is competitive.
ReplyDeleteIt’s reality tv. Nothing about reality tv is real.
DeleteI hope Michaela can speak up for herself and decline to babysit when it's not convenient for her. I hope the Bates family sees this as "spending time with Aunt Michaela" rather than "babysitter Aunt Michaela". Nothing wrong with being a babysitter, just not an appropriate word in this situation.
ReplyDeleteI like Erin but she strikes me as narcissistic. I hope I’m wrong; they can be very toxic.
ReplyDeletenice to see michaela and brandon again. been wondering how they're doing
ReplyDeleteChad looks thin and exhausted.
ReplyDeleteBetter than overweight and exhausted
Delete10:56 - not necessarily. Thinness can be just as unhealthy
DeleteOverweight can lead to a lot more health problems than thinness.
DeleteLosing weight rapidly can be the sign of a serious illness. I don't think that's the case with Chad, but it is not to be dismissed lightly.
DeleteSince it's most likely not the case with Chad, it's not worth mentioning, is it? He was always slim.
DeleteI think Chad has lost weight because of exhaustion.
DeleteOr it could be that he is just incredibly busy.
DeleteI have not had a favorable impression of Erin, based on some of the things I've seen on the show. This clip didn't help matters. Referring to your older sister as a free babysitter was just plain clueless, even if you're just kidding.
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to have kids, that's great. I'm sure Michaela would love to spend some time with her nieces and nephews. However, Erin shouldn't assume everyone around her will be chomping at the bit to take over for her when she needs a break.
She did NOT say who she was expecting to do the free babysitting. She could have just as well have been referring to the younger sisters.
Delete4:04- Regardless of who she was referring to, expecting family members to serve as free babysitters is rather rude, IMO. BTW, why is it assumed the sisters will do the babysitting? The young men could help out, too.
DeleteI think in large families such as the Bates and Duggar’s, the oldest children miss out on considerable one on one interaction with their parents when every year produces a new sibling. They become care takers far too young and for too long. Hence, as a grown up themselves, they seek more attention from others to make up for what they missed as a child. Not everyone reacts this way, but some do.
ReplyDeleteI’m curious about Brendan and this move. Is he truly on board with moving near Michael’s family as opposed to his own or just staying in Chicago? Does he still word for IBLP? The vibe I get from him is he truly loves Michaela; but may think she is immature/dependent on him?
ReplyDeletecome on people! erin did not ask michaela to babysit - she asked if there was going to be free babysitting. michaela could have said yes (and asked callie, addie & ellie to babysit, or lawson, we dont know!), but instead, michaela offered to babysit instead of play games. michaela is always offering to babysit because she loves to, not because she has to. and maybe it makes her feel better not worse to be around them. lets face it, i dont think any one of them would purposely hurt michaela and with as close as she and erin have always been, chances are they've had many, many heart-to-hearts over the last few years
ReplyDelete@3:47- Sorry, Michaela was put on the spot, no matter how you look at it.
DeleteErin made it sound like she’d only come to game night if there was free babysitting. That’s incredibly rude and silly. First, Erin should be able to find a babysitter on her own, she is a mother and an adult. It’s not up to Michaela to babysit or find a babysitter for Erin’s kids. Second, Michaela deserves to have adult time with her siblings just as anyone else would, why else would she offer a game night? Erin needs to be mindful that she comes across as insensitive. Her siblings are probably too nice or just used to her behavior and won’t speak up. Many other viewers see the behavior as unfavorable. She seems to speak without worrying if she’s hurting someone’s feelings or not.
DeleteShe did not make it sound like she wouldn't come if there weren't babysitters. 🙄 She asked if there were going to be babysitters. She said nothing about her attendance being contingent on babysitting. Furthermore, the fact that she said "even better" when Michaella offered means that she was NOT insinuating that Michaella should do it.
DeleteYeah totally agree. Erin just came across as totally rude. Even if Erin didn’t intentionally meant to be rude, just why did everyone see that? We all saw that. I think also, I feel bad for Michaela and her fertility issues, so it’s just like another hit to her, like hey, you don’t have any kids, so hey, you can be the babysitter. Just so insensitive. I pray for Michaela that they will have a baby, I would cry, just because she is so deserving of a baby. It just makes it more special I guess, because she’s just not popping out babies every year. Sorry to just put it out there and say what everyone else is probably thinking.
DeleteFrom my perspective, Erin was joking, but Michaela responded seriously. Michaela is usually all about taking care of the kids at every family gathering so there was nothing for her to feel hurt about. And, to say that Erin was incredibly rude is quite an exaggeration and an attempt to create drama where there was none.
Delete9:14- If I had invited somone to my home for adult game night and that person asked about free babysitting, even in jest I would be offended and consider it rude.
DeleteWhy be offended?
DeleteBecause it’s offensive.
DeleteIt's only offensive if you choose to be offended. Or you could just let it roll off.
DeleteYes, I think they’ve chosen to be offended. Nothing wrong with that.
DeleteI don't know, choosing to be offended seems like a waste of mental and emotional energy in many (not all) cases.
DeleteSo you are choosing to be offended by her choice to be offended? It might be best if you let people feel what they feel.
DeleteYou are worrying that someone else is wasting their mental energy? Why?
DeleteHmm, I'm neither offended nor worried, 10:31 and 5:45. I just see people wasting way too much time and energy over being offended by things that don't really matter. I don't think they realize there's a better way.
DeletePeople will only take advantage of you if you allow them to. To some commenters above. She is adult Michaela is an adult. Led
ReplyDeleteThat was kind of weird of Erin to ask that, that seemed a little insensitive, and poor Michaela was being nice offering. So what, Michaela has to watch babies while everyone comes to HER house for game night and has fun playing games? I hope when Michaela has a baby, they’d better babysit for her!
ReplyDeleteShe didn't ask Michaella to do it.
DeleteWell, she didn’t plain out ask, but passively aggressively asked and put Michaela on the spot. Soooo... it looked like she was taking advantage of Michaela, but not plain out asking, but throwing it out there and putting her on the spot. Just sayin
DeleteNo matter who she was asking, it was rude.
DeleteI also thought it was rude to have game night and leave Michaela out of it . The girls could take turns so that everyone has a good time.
ReplyDeleteNobody left Michaella out!! Watch the video again.
DeleteNobody left her out it! They were only talking and speculating. Honestly, so many commenters who didn't read and watch attentively.
DeleteExactly
DeleteIf people have not had struggles having children then they don’t think about what they say often not trying to be rude, but not understanding how much words hurt. Those two could foster to adopt. I’m surprised they haven’t talked about adoption on the show! It would help ratings.
ReplyDeleteHelp ratings? Really????
Delete8:10 PM- It's always so easy to say what other people should do with their lives. When a couple faces infertiliity for an extended amount of time, they've likely already explored many options. I'd never suggest to someone else what they should do. Right now, it appears that Michaela is focusing on completing her nurses' training.
DeleteAgreed, Erin has changed. Each of of Michaela's sisters should guard Michaela's heart. I watched my daughter walk the same journey as Michaela. It is so difficult, painful, and yet these loving women place a smile on their face and move through their journey with broken hearts.
ReplyDeleteErin's desire for a babysitter makes it sound like she needs such a break. Actually, Erin's comments come across as a "complaint" while her gracious sister is standing there putting on a smile and pretending to communicate it is okay if she watches her sister's children while longing for her own children. Erin needs to realize that Michaela, on the inside, is hurting, praying and ensduring her journey of no children.
Erin chose to have so many children in such few years. Erin, made the choice to have children. Care for your children Erin. Be more sensitive and understanding.
Guard your sister's heart through her journey!
Erin has also hurt through multiple miscarriages.
DeleteShe gave birth to Carson one and a half year after her wedding so, that means, she got pregnant before her first anniversary. Less than one year is too short period for "multiple miscarriages".
DeleteIt is absolutely not too short for multiple miscarriages. Ask Erin, who had multiple miscarriages.
Delete3:19, what are you talking about? Erin had three miscarriages before Carson.
DeleteWhen someone is asked to a social function such as game night or any outing , it is not appropriate to ask the host to provide babysitting, free or otherwise. It is the parents responsibility to secure babysitters. Try to be more gracious Erin. She DID ask Michaela if there would be free babysitters for the evening. Again, that is ERIN’s responsibility to figure out, not Michaela’s
ReplyDeleteI think people are overemphasizing a remark that may have been at least partway joking AND she was with family. She may have been hinting or she may have not. We just don't know.
DeleteI remember when Erin was having miscarriages, before she knew of the blood clotting issues. She seemed like she was having a tough emotional time at Whitney's baby shower. Everyone was emphatic with her. I wish she would remember how she felt back then and see her big sis has not yet had children. It must be hard when every women, including her mother has children. Michaela is a sweet soul. Yes, want to host a game night then be asked if you are going to babysit. Come on! Even if Michaella had kids that's a lot to ask.
ReplyDeleteExactly!!!
DeleteShe didn't ask Michaella to babysit. She asked if there was going to be babysitting.
Delete"Hi, would you like to come to my house for dinner?"
Delete"Is there going to be free babysitting?"
That’s even worse. She was asking “Are you providing free babysitting?” It’s like saying, “will a free dinner be provided?”
DeleteMicheala hasn't had a child for 5 years. Erin gave birth to her 1st child one and a half year after her wedding. No comparison at all.
DeleteI think Erin replied as she did as kind of a joke since everyone invited had 1 to 3 children and where in the world would they get enough babysitters! Michaela certainly couldn’t care for that many babies by herself in her home...at least I don’t think she could.
Delete3:22, you could also say that Michael has never gone through the pain for losing a baby. Don’t try to lessen someone else’s hurt.
DeleteWhy must she always get the babies cause she doesn’t have any yet? It’s treating her awkward.
ReplyDeleteI have a different take concerning Michaela wanting to babysit. Before I had children I loved to babysit friends or family members' children just to be around them. My husband and I had a little difficulty with conceiving and babysitting was my way of getting my baby fix.
ReplyDeleteMom of 3
Exactly. Michaella herself has said she is always the one to want to hold the babies.
DeleteThere are no shortage of babies in the Bates household. Michaela could easily get a baby fix every day of the week. I think she wanted some time with her adult siblings
DeleteCan people please stop saying that she didn’t ask Michaela to babysit? My gosh the question was directed right at her. It was obviously implied that babysitting was expected
ReplyDeleteUnless Erin was joking.
DeleteIf so, it was a tasteless and awkward joke.
DeleteIt seems strange that Erin would say it is "perfect" if Michaela babysits and the other adults play games. Perhaps she is too used to relying on her older sister? What is "perfect" about the hostess babysitting while the other adults play games.
ReplyDelete