Bringing Up Bates "Texas or Bust?"
- Trace stops by Zach and Whitney’s house to discuss his upcoming trip to Texas. For almost nine months, he and Chaney have talked every day but one. Trace admits that he is nervous, as he will be asking Chaney to be his official girlfriend.
- Trace, Gil, and Kelly arrive at the Kahle house in Colleyville, Texas. “I’m trying to play it cool…but it’s not just another trip,” says Trace. They exchange hugs and side hugs with Chaney, her parents, and her siblings. The Kahles are fellow homeschoolers and are just as competitive as the Bates family.
- Chaney’s dad suggests electric go-karting at K1 Speed to kick off the visit. “You know, I’m known by my family, I do not like things that are dangerous, risky, fast,” says Kelly. “I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to see them get hurt. I know even on safe rides, they can be dangerous.”
- Kelly insists on driving her own go-kart so she can control the speed. “I don’t think my mom was meant to be in any fast car ever, with anybody,” says Tori. “She will probably be screaming and hollering the entire time and thinking she’s about to die.” The Bates mom creeps along, as others pass her.
- At the end of the race, the score board reveals Chaney in first place and Trace in second. “I’m really happy for her because she is really athletic, and she loves doing sports, and she loves getting out there, and I love that about her,” says Trace.
- After the race, the two families eat Tex-Mex at Joe T. Garcia’s. “It just means Mexican food in Texas,” explains Kelly. “You know Texans, they think everything is bigger and better in Texas, so they have their own name for it, Tex-Mex.”
- Trace says he could consider moving to Texas. “How is Trace going to come to my house…and hang out in Texas?” says Zach. “Do I live in Texas? No, I live here.”
- During dinner, Kelly nonchalantly suggests going on a picnic the following day. She and Chaney’s mom and sisters secretly have plans to set up for the big moment while the others visit the batting cages.
- At the batting cages, Trace steps aside to ask Mr. Kahle’s permission to date Chaney. He says yes but then adds, “But like I told you…I didn’t raise them to move off, I raised them to say close, so we’ll see how it works out.”
- Meanwhile, the ladies are setting up decorations and food at a picnic spot by the water. “We’re all trying to keep it in Chaney’s tastes but also simple because that’s what Trace asked for,” says Kelly. “He doesn’t want it so over the top that it looks like an engagement.”
- When Trace and Chaney arrive, they are blown away by the scene. “I’m used to going big or going home,” admits Kelly.
- After dinner, Trace asks Chaney to take a little walk. They stop at a spot covered in flower petals. It is close enough that the family can still see them but far enough away that they can have a private talk. “…You are my best friend now,” Trace tells Chaney. “And the more we get closer and the more we hang out, the more I know I’m falling in love with you every single day. I do love you, and I do want to take the next step.”
- “Chaney, I wonder if you’re willing to take the next step with me and just start a relationship and start dating me and make it official?” he asks.
- “I would love to!” Chaney responds. Trace gives her a bouquet of flowers and a bracelet, and the two share a few front hugs. Now they can officially hold hand!
Oh,dear. I would have been mortified if my parents had acted like that. The moms and Chaney's sisters setting up for the "big event". That was very intrusive. Was this all for the cameras? It was all so very awkward.
ReplyDeletePoor Chaney. Her father really is limiting her future by not allowing her to move far from home.
Did her dad actually said he wouldn’t let her move? I haven’t watched the episode?
DeleteChaney's Dad told Trace, "I didn't raise them (his children) to move off, I raised them to stay close". Chaney was raised in her family with this mindset. This does limit her future. I don't know that she realizes it.
DeleteHis tone was pretty snippy , too!!!
DeleteHe said those words exactly!
DeleteSome people love their children and want them to stay close by. Of course, that is somewhat 'limiting' but why would a loving family want to be far away from each other?
Delete1:48 pm: So that your children can find happiness.
DeleteHi! I'm friends with the family. The dad is not controlling. His kids are free to move off if that makes them happy. He was just saying that he doesn't hope she moves off (as with his other kids) because they are a close family and enjoy spending time with each other. No one is forced to stay close by... that's nonsense and not what he said/how they live their lives. He is not controlling and encourages them to live their lives glorifying God as best as they can in everyday life. However, they did not air everything on TV and the many conversations behind closed doors/not in front of cameras. You don't have the whole picture, so making assumptions without knowing the whole story is not a fair assessment of the situation.
DeleteI feel so bad for Chaney having all this televised. :(
ReplyDeleteWow, Chaney’s dad seems very controlling. I hope she marries someone someday and moves away to live her own life, at least long enough for her parents to realize that she’s her own person. There is nothing worse for a marriage then in-laws who think they can make decisions for the couple (such as where they live). There’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to live near you, but to say “I didn’t raise them to move off I raised them to stay close” is super creepy and possessive. I wonder if her parents had anything to do with the end of their relationship.
ReplyDelete@9:55, I think her dad actually spoke up for her. If you remember when Kelly Jo and Erin were having pushing her to TN? She freaked out. I believe she shared this with her family. Her dad actually said that Chaney doesn't want to leave Texas and then he made his comment.
DeleteI do believe that with these huge courtpoals it's giving these girls mix feelings. I would think of marriage too but Trace and Nathan both said it's not a wedding prospal. Kelly Jo needs to stop pushing these and let the boys just date.
I thought it was kind of bold of Kelly when she just sort of took over even though they were in Chaney's parent's home/locale. I think some of these "proposals" are spearheaded by Kelly so she can be involved. I remember she was super pushy with Brandon.
DeleteHer parents know she is her own person. She has freedom to do as she pleases, however, he was right when saying he doesn't WANT her (or any of his kids) to move away because they enjoy being together and spending time as a family. Nothing wrong with that. It's not creepy and not possessive. She is her own person and makes her own decisions, however it shows wisdom that she seeks counsel from her parents in such a big life decision as such as dating/engaged/marrying someone. I think more people would be better off by seeking wise counsel from others around them.
DeleteHer dad spoke up for her to give her an out. You don't have the whole picture to the situation. You don't know what was discussed off-screen.
Yes, Kelly has a tendency to "take over" situations. But, she is the mom and has fun doing it, too! No harm.
Trace and Chaney didn't call it a "courtship" so that was different. Other rules have evolved over time. I remember Erin and Chad started holding hands when they got engaged, but with Trace and Chaney, it was at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage
ReplyDeleteI find it very selfish and rude that Chaney’s dad said he didn’t raise his children to leave but to stay close!!
ReplyDeleteRead April 3 @ 9:52. I agree with it. It's interesting that the three Bates boys,w always share the couch and definite opinions, all assume Trace will get Chaney to live in TN.
DeleteOMG, poor Trace. Even if he gave his consent for this to be shown, it must be so painful. Why would any parents do this to their child? I'm ashamed of the Bates.
ReplyDeleteMO- I haven't seen the new season shows, but I did see last season's Trace and Chaney episodes. It's always been the same in every Bates "courting/dating" show... push, push, push by the parents. Kelly's in the middle of everything with Erin close behind. The men don't seem to mind the over-load, but the young ladies obviously don't appreciate it. :o)
DeleteHmmm... you mean the same way that the Bates want all their family close.
DeleteDid not enjoy the show at all -why? - because we all know how it turned out differently.
ReplyDeleteOverbearing parents in my opinion and yet they also believe "leave & cleave" - two broken hearts for sure.
Will they heal? - most likely, but the residue of their short "relationship" will remain in their hearts for a long, long time.
“Leave and Cleave”...LOL! Every “Bates”, aside from Alyssa, has come running back home to Mommy and Daddy.
DeleteI haven’t heard the Bates ever use that term “leave & cleave”?? I’ve heard the Duggar’s use that terminology, just never the Bates. Maybe you’re getting the two families confused. Gil & Kelly seem to be really down to earth. Do they want their children to stay close by? Of course! I don’t know many parents who desire for their kids to be scattered all over the world making it near to impossible to ever see them. I don’t know many parents who raise their kids so they can forget them. I believe they’re doing the best they know how with the Lord’s help.
Delete11:30AM: If you raise your children to serve the Lord, then you accept the fact that your children can move away to places where the Lord needs them to serve, and that can be FAR away. It didn't make sense for Chaney's father to say he didn't raise them to move away. That tells me he didn't raise them to serve the Lord.
DeleteIt totally disagree with 2:19 pm. If you love your children, you want them close by. Why would you push your children far away? You cannot be there with your grandchildren or to help out the kids.
DeleteInteresting reply, 2:19pm. You make several good points.
DeleteI thought courtships were supposed to prevent broken hearts.
ReplyDeleteCourtships prevent you from giving too much of your heart away, as in a physical, sexual relationship. It guards your heart and body for the right person that you marry.
DeleteYour heart can broken much more when it's emotional. Love is just not a physical thing and that's something people, especially the Bates forget.
DeleteAlyssa and John chose to stay close to his Mom and Dad. I don’t see the difference. Nothing wrong with settling where you are comfortable and can support a family. But regarding courtship and Trace and Chaney, they would have been better off if the family had not been so overly involved and on tv.
ReplyDeleteThat's because John works for his dad
DeleteThere is no need to be rude and hateful. Every family its own so just let them be who God created them to in his image. Bless you and I hope for all who just want to be a hater you find piece in you heart. P.S. Respect others.
ReplyDeleteThis episode was great but bittersweet because we all already know they’re no longer together. It’s hard to get excited alongside them when you know how it has ended. I still enjoyed the episode, regardless. Trace is SUCH a sweet guy. He deserves the best God has coming for him... and I am praying God blesses him with the sweetest girl that is perfect for him. She will be blessed to have him! Gil & Kelly have raised (and are raising) some amazing people.
ReplyDeleteAnyone else have "Happy News and Health Concerns" download again on itunes under the name "Texas or Bust?" Has the right name but when I go to view it...it is the previous episode.
ReplyDeleteIt's strange they have to wait 9 months to say their gf/bf. 9 months to hold hands but, say "I love you" before all of this.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! Saying “I love you” to me is a much bigger deal than calling someone your ‘official girlfriend’.
DeleteCould you imagine saying ‘I totally love her, but I’m not ready to make it official yet’
Her Dad seemed a little stand-offish to Trace. Hoping it was just being filmed and he was nervous.
ReplyDeleteMO- I don't think every parent views the Bates men as the best suitors for this daughters. I'm not sure what steady income any single Bates man has. The Bates family are "down home" folks, maybe not the right fit for Chaney and her family. :o)
Delete“We’re all trying to keep it in Chaney’s tastes but also simple because that’s what Trace asked for,” says Kelly. “He doesn’t want it so over the top that it looks like an engagement.”
ReplyDeleteYes, finally someone says it aloud. Way to go Trace!