We shared a YouTube video that Lawson and Tiffany Bates uploaded last week, called "Our Pregnancy Story Part 1." They just released part two. Very sadly, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
She wants to make that video to "help" others? Here's some help. Don't rely on videos made by young reality stars for your medical or emotional advice.
Who in the world would prank their husband like that? It's not funny. Getting pregnant is not a joke. These people, of all people, should know that. I thought they held the unborn as sacred.
@8:18-I agree with you 💯. Tiffany’s behavior is very immature and hurtful. Why would anyone prank their husband about being pregnant??? Makes zero sense.
If they think babies are a blessing from God, then what do they think when a miscarriage happens? God is punishing you? God doesn't want you to have that baby you made? God's trying to inflict pain on you to teach you a lesson? I've never heard these people explain that, have you?
@12:38 A week and nobody could provide any sort of answer. Pretty much tells you what you need to know about the kind of explanations they have. Maybe they need more time to think about how to twist it. Oh, I know - "works in mysterious ways" and "not ours to know." OK?
I've never heard a rational explanation. If they think abortion is murder in every circumstance, then how do they categorize spontaneous abortion? God is to blame?
12/27 @ 2:42...you raise a very good question here. If it is actual "life" at the very beginning, and any abortion is murder to them; why would a loving God murder His own creation in utero? Why would a loving God put Lawson and Tiffany through this? I would like to hear from them on this. God decided life; why would He take it away?
I will do my utmost to respond to your questions. I am not a Bible scholar or a pastor; just one layman who does her best to study and follow the Bible. Miscarriage is not a punishment from God because we know that all of God’s wrath was poured out on Jesus. We are no longer under His wrath or punishment, since we have placed our faith in Him. That said, we do not know what miscarriage happens. It could be for a few different reasons… the result of a fallen, broken world where life is not as it was created to be. It could be as a means of sanctification. But no matter the case, it is not murder. Abortion is murder because humans are taking the lives of other humans. Miscarriage, or any other natural death, is not murder. God is the giver and taker of life. He puts the very breath in our lungs, and He alone decides when it is time for our lives to end. We cannot always see or know His purposes; to be able to do so would put us on even ground with Him and that would make Him cease to be God. But when dealing with any theological question that we have, we must always start with what we know. We know that God is always good, always loving, always merciful, always just, always righteous, and always sovereign. How all of these qualities work together is once again above us, but we know that they do and we know He is fully trustworthy. So, even when we face great pain or suffering, we can know in full assurance that the Lord is there with us and loving us fully even when we do not understand why things are the way they are. Another thing to consider is that that baby goes straight into the presence of Jesus in the absolute perfection and goodness of Heaven! They don’t have to face the pain and brokenness of this world. That is a beautiful thing that we cannot fully fathom since we have not seen it yet. I would encourage you to look on www.gotquestions.org for some of the deeper information you’re seeking and asking about. Clearly I can’t give all of the information you’re looking for (even if it’s stemming from a misunderstanding of Christianity or motivated by a criticism towards orthodox Christian beliefs). I hope my answers help somehow. Not looking at all to debate. Just wanted to try to help if I could. I wish you well.
Maybe God sees that something is going wrong and steps in to stop it before anyone suffers any more pain. Come to think of it, what a compassionate thing to do and wouldn't it be good if that were something doctors could do too. After all, we expect them to perform miracles too.
I suggest that anyone who has strong feelings about abortion carefully study the statement on medical abortion put out by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and Physicians for Reproductive Health, the people on the front lines of reproductive healthcare. This is not the first time I've read misinformation on the Bates/Duggar sites about medical abortion. Take emotion and religion away and look at the facts from the medical practitioners who know and have seen a lot more than the people posting here.
11:26 If god is all-powerful and knows everything, he should've "stepped in" and prevented it from going wrong in the first place. I guess he should've thought of that.
7:26 If your god is the giver and taker of life, then he's a murderer. Why create us just to kill us? It makes no sense. I have no reason to believe this god is always good or always merciful. Any god that would drown nearly all the people on the planet- including innocent children, babies, and the unborn- isn't one I want to worship. He sounds more like a tyrannical terrorist.
How does hearing the details about someone else's miscarriage help you if you're having your own or had one? I think Tiff is overthinking her ability to be helpful.
I'm guessing you've never been in this situation. Having a miscarriage is lonely. Your husband can't understand it completely even though he may be sad. You know how people go to support groups to be with people who've been through the same thing? Same idea.
3:56, because a husband doesn't carry the baby and have the same physical and emotional experience. He can have limited understanding and his own grief, but it's literally impossible for him to have the same level of understanding as someone who has gone through the same thing. That is true of other things too. It's a mistake to believe otherwise.
@11:42 You sure are elevating your own feelings above those of your husband. You're placing what you did and what you went through above him, as if you're more important. I think you're wrong.
8:16, you do not understand what I am saying AT ALL. The whole point is NOT that my feelings are more important than my husband's. The whole point is that a woman's experience of a miscarriage is different than her husband's. She is the primary one experiencing the miscarriage. Her husband does not know and can never know what it feels like to be physically carrying a baby. The husband does not experience the physical pain of a miscarriage, which can be very intense and scary. Other women who had miscarriages DO know because it has happened to them. On top of that you have the mental and emotional trauma of it happening inside your body and you are powerless to stop your body from losing your baby. It can make you feel very alone because no, your husband does not have the exact same experience as you. How about you talk to some women who have actually gone through it (which includes me) instead of judging some one else based on your uninformed beliefs.
8:16, what you are saying makes no sense. It's ludicrous to say a man knows what it is like to have a miscarriage. That is literally impossible. And it is not "wrong" to say that. Neither is it "elevating your own feelings" to say that. It is just a fact. It's a dangerous and egotistical place to think that you can understand every experience every other person has had when you yourself have never been in their shoes.
8:16, since you obviously haven't experienced this, let me give you an analogy. Let's say you saw a loved one get killed in front of your eyes. Do you really think that your husband, who did not see it happen, would be affected just as much as you? Or do you think just possibly you would be more traumatized than he?
Have you people no heart? Sympathy, compassion, prayers. That's what they need not criticism. Just because you wouldn't personally do such a video doesn't mean Lawson and Tiffany did wrong in doing so. I think it's good to talk through these things. Miscarriage is too often swept under the rug.
If they hadn't turned this into some sort of reality TV show, people would have expressed sympathy. Filming a miscarriage in excruciating detail really puts people off. Hence the criticism.
3:50 Miscarriage being "swept under the rug" was definitely a thing not so long ago, but it seems that in recent years, it's become a huge topic in social media and with celebrities. Infertility is something else that is getting lots of attention. Not that it's a bad thing, but when any human condition is used for personal gain/attention in the form of thumbnails, likes, subscribers, publicity and ad revenue, it comes across as self-serving and disingenuous. I've experienced both conditions and talked about it only with friends, family and others in a support group.
I have as much compassion and understanding for their loss as Lawson had for his election loss. You earn respect, you don't have it automatically given any time things don't go your way.
Watched Part 2 and I commend Tiffany on her bravery and courage going through her miscarriage so early in her pregnancy. I'm guessing she wasn't even 6 weeks pregnant if the baby was the size of a poppy seed. I was glad she had her sister in law Michaela giving her advice and support over the phone while in the ER. May she and Lawson get pregnant again maybe by Spring 2024 and if it's a girl,name her Faith and if it's a boy, Samuel (those to me are good rainbow baby names after a miscarriage).
To each his own. I thought the whole thing was rather disgusting. Who on Earth films themsleves or calls relatives while being treated in the ER? I've been in the ER a few times and it never occurred to me to film the experience.
As someone who has gone through several miscarriages there is nothing brave or courageous about it. It’s out of your control and you have no choice but to go “through” it.
Once you start documenting your life, it can be really hard to stop, or skip over important events. If you don't get a video of it, it almost feels like it didn't happen. I don't vlog, but I've noticed this even in getting regular pictures of my kids! If I don't take a photo, I feel like the memory will disappear or something. It's a bad habit!!!
Anon 1:17 If you can't remember major events in your life without "documenting" them, you have a problem. Time to turn off cameras and start living your life without them.
This couple has a much larger problem than a miscarriage. Life is a mixed bag of bad and good. If they can't handle the bad any better than this, they're in for a rough ride.
Lawson and Tiffany, thank you for sharing such a hard and traumatic life event. Although a very unpopular topic, it is life. Your honesty and transparency during this time are commendable. Prayers for you are sent during this time of healing.
@9:12 Somehow all this "honesty and transparency" rings a bit hollow when it's put out on a YouTube channel for the purposes of getting likes, views and subscribers. You know, to make money.
Thanks for leaving your comments! Our aim is to post all points of view, but we do not post anything that is profane, insulting, derogatory, or in poor taste.
She wants to make that video to "help" others? Here's some help. Don't rely on videos made by young reality stars for your medical or emotional advice.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteIt's not for advice, it's to help you feel like you're not the only one.
DeleteI think this is their way of grieving. Everyone grieves differently.
Delete10:04 That's the emotional advice.
DeleteNo thanks. I'm tired of them and their games.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cruel person you are if you don’t like them don’t read or watch them but you don’t have to be mean
DeleteYou are cruel. Just don't watch anymore and take yourself out of this.
DeleteIt's over 30 minutes? Do we see this miscarriage in real time?
ReplyDeleteSomeone said her miscarriage was karma, for all the times she pranked Lawson about being pregnant, all those she really wasn't .
ReplyDeleteWow 10:40. That would be something.
DeletePeople say lots of foolish things.
DeleteWho in the world would prank their husband like that? It's not funny. Getting pregnant is not a joke. These people, of all people, should know that. I thought they held the unborn as sacred.
Delete@8:18-I agree with you 💯. Tiffany’s behavior is very immature and hurtful. Why would anyone prank their husband about being pregnant??? Makes zero sense.
DeleteThese wonderful Christians think that lying is a silly prank and nothing more? Where have I read something about bearing false witness, hmmm...
DeleteIf they think babies are a blessing from God, then what do they think when a miscarriage happens? God is punishing you? God doesn't want you to have that baby you made? God's trying to inflict pain on you to teach you a lesson? I've never heard these people explain that, have you?
ReplyDelete@12:38 A week and nobody could provide any sort of answer. Pretty much tells you what you need to know about the kind of explanations they have. Maybe they need more time to think about how to twist it. Oh, I know - "works in mysterious ways" and "not ours to know." OK?
DeleteI've never heard a rational explanation. If they think abortion is murder in every circumstance, then how do they categorize spontaneous abortion? God is to blame?
Delete12/27 @ 2:42...you raise a very good question here. If it is actual "life" at the very beginning, and any abortion is murder to them; why would a loving God murder His own creation in utero? Why would a loving God put Lawson and Tiffany through this? I would like to hear from them on this. God decided life; why would He take it away?
Delete@7:02 This is what happens when you try to put religion above science. The logic falls apart.
DeleteI will do my utmost to respond to your questions. I am not a Bible scholar or a pastor; just one layman who does her best to study and follow the Bible. Miscarriage is not a punishment from God because we know that all of God’s wrath was poured out on Jesus. We are no longer under His wrath or punishment, since we have placed our faith in Him. That said, we do not know what miscarriage happens. It could be for a few different reasons… the result of a fallen, broken world where life is not as it was created to be. It could be as a means of sanctification. But no matter the case, it is not murder. Abortion is murder because humans are taking the lives of other humans. Miscarriage, or any other natural death, is not murder. God is the giver and taker of life. He puts the very breath in our lungs, and He alone decides when it is time for our lives to end. We cannot always see or know His purposes; to be able to do so would put us on even ground with Him and that would make Him cease to be God. But when dealing with any theological question that we have, we must always start with what we know. We know that God is always good, always loving, always merciful, always just, always righteous, and always sovereign. How all of these qualities work together is once again above us, but we know that they do and we know He is fully trustworthy. So, even when we face great pain or suffering, we can know in full assurance that the Lord is there with us and loving us fully even when we do not understand why things are the way they are. Another thing to consider is that that baby goes straight into the presence of Jesus in the absolute perfection and goodness of Heaven! They don’t have to face the pain and brokenness of this world. That is a beautiful thing that we cannot fully fathom since we have not seen it yet. I would encourage you to look on www.gotquestions.org for some of the deeper information you’re seeking and asking about. Clearly I can’t give all of the information you’re looking for (even if it’s stemming from a misunderstanding of Christianity or motivated by a criticism towards orthodox Christian beliefs). I hope my answers help somehow. Not looking at all to debate. Just wanted to try to help if I could. I wish you well.
DeleteMaybe God sees that something is going wrong and steps in to stop it before anyone suffers any more pain. Come to think of it, what a compassionate thing to do and wouldn't it be good if that were something doctors could do too. After all, we expect them to perform miracles too.
DeleteWho says anyone is "to blame" for a miscarriage? Miscarriage is a natural process. Medical abortion is not.
DeleteI suggest that anyone who has strong feelings about abortion carefully study the statement on medical abortion put out by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and Physicians for Reproductive Health, the people on the front lines of reproductive healthcare. This is not the first time I've read misinformation on the Bates/Duggar sites about medical abortion. Take emotion and religion away and look at the facts from the medical practitioners who know and have seen a lot more than the people posting here.
Delete11:26 If god is all-powerful and knows everything, he should've "stepped in" and prevented it from going wrong in the first place. I guess he should've thought of that.
Delete7:26 If your god is the giver and taker of life, then he's a murderer. Why create us just to kill us? It makes no sense. I have no reason to believe this god is always good or always merciful. Any god that would drown nearly all the people on the planet- including innocent children, babies, and the unborn- isn't one I want to worship. He sounds more like a tyrannical terrorist.
DeleteHow does hearing the details about someone else's miscarriage help you if you're having your own or had one? I think Tiff is overthinking her ability to be helpful.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing you've never been in this situation. Having a miscarriage is lonely. Your husband can't understand it completely even though he may be sad. You know how people go to support groups to be with people who've been through the same thing? Same idea.
Delete@10:07 Why do you think husbands can't understand?
Delete3:56, because a husband doesn't carry the baby and have the same physical and emotional experience. He can have limited understanding and his own grief, but it's literally impossible for him to have the same level of understanding as someone who has gone through the same thing. That is true of other things too. It's a mistake to believe otherwise.
Delete@11:42 You sure are elevating your own feelings above those of your husband. You're placing what you did and what you went through above him, as if you're more important. I think you're wrong.
Delete3:56 For the same reason why men can't understand what it's like to have a period or give birth.
DeleteIt's a personality thing. Some people will want to keep it private, and some will feel better after sharing.
Delete8:16, you do not understand what I am saying AT ALL. The whole point is NOT that my feelings are more important than my husband's. The whole point is that a woman's experience of a miscarriage is different than her husband's. She is the primary one experiencing the miscarriage. Her husband does not know and can never know what it feels like to be physically carrying a baby. The husband does not experience the physical pain of a miscarriage, which can be very intense and scary. Other women who had miscarriages DO know because it has happened to them. On top of that you have the mental and emotional trauma of it happening inside your body and you are powerless to stop your body from losing your baby. It can make you feel very alone because no, your husband does not have the exact same experience as you. How about you talk to some women who have actually gone through it (which includes me) instead of judging some one else based on your uninformed beliefs.
Delete8:16, what you are saying makes no sense. It's ludicrous to say a man knows what it is like to have a miscarriage. That is literally impossible. And it is not "wrong" to say that. Neither is it "elevating your own feelings" to say that. It is just a fact. It's a dangerous and egotistical place to think that you can understand every experience every other person has had when you yourself have never been in their shoes.
Delete8:16, since you obviously haven't experienced this, let me give you an analogy. Let's say you saw a loved one get killed in front of your eyes. Do you really think that your husband, who did not see it happen, would be affected just as much as you? Or do you think just possibly you would be more traumatized than he?
DeleteHopefully the next pregnancy will result in a live birth.
ReplyDeleteYes!
DeleteWhat a production! In the future I'll ignore any more of this couple's output.
ReplyDeleteVery disappointing news, of course; but these two just seem out of sync.
DeleteEnough already agree
DeleteI don’t understand what you are saying? 🤔
Delete@7:50 perfectly stated
DeleteWe all have bad things happen in our lives, but most of us don't turn them into a two part melodrama.
ReplyDeleteSad news, bless all.
ReplyDeleteHave you people no heart? Sympathy, compassion, prayers. That's what they need not criticism. Just because you wouldn't personally do such a video doesn't mean Lawson and Tiffany did wrong in doing so. I think it's good to talk through these things. Miscarriage is too often swept under the rug.
ReplyDeleteIf they hadn't turned this into some sort of reality TV show, people would have expressed sympathy. Filming a miscarriage in excruciating detail really puts people off. Hence the criticism.
Delete3:50 Miscarriage being "swept under the rug" was definitely a thing not so long ago, but it seems that in recent years, it's become a huge topic in social media and with celebrities. Infertility is something else that is getting lots of attention. Not that it's a bad thing, but when any human condition is used for personal gain/attention in the form of thumbnails, likes, subscribers, publicity and ad revenue, it comes across as self-serving and disingenuous. I've experienced both conditions and talked about it only with friends, family and others in a support group.
DeleteCan't add much more than 10:25 said, but I agree. This is classic oversharing. The most sympathy I feel therefore is for their lack of discernment.
DeleteI have as much compassion and understanding for their loss as Lawson had for his election loss. You earn respect, you don't have it automatically given any time things don't go your way.
DeleteThat did not have to be shared in that form.
ReplyDeleteWatched Part 2 and I commend Tiffany on her bravery and courage going through her miscarriage so early in her pregnancy. I'm guessing she wasn't even 6 weeks pregnant if the baby was the size of a poppy seed. I was glad she had her sister in law Michaela giving her advice and support over the phone while in the ER. May she and Lawson get pregnant again maybe by Spring 2024 and if it's a girl,name her Faith and if it's a boy, Samuel (those to me are good rainbow baby names after a miscarriage).
ReplyDeleteTo each his own. I thought the whole thing was rather disgusting. Who on Earth films themsleves or calls relatives while being treated in the ER? I've been in the ER a few times and it never occurred to me to film the experience.
DeleteLet's not rush things give her body time to heal. Geez what's the rush.
DeleteAs someone who has gone through several miscarriages there is nothing brave or courageous about it. It’s out of your control and you have no choice but to go “through” it.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, May God give you comfort and support!
ReplyDeleteWhat sane person films one the most sad moments in their life?
ReplyDeleteOnce you start documenting your life, it can be really hard to stop, or skip over important events. If you don't get a video of it, it almost feels like it didn't happen. I don't vlog, but I've noticed this even in getting regular pictures of my kids! If I don't take a photo, I feel like the memory will disappear or something. It's a bad habit!!!
DeleteAnon 1:17 If you can't remember major events in your life without "documenting" them, you have a problem. Time to turn off cameras and start living your life without them.
DeleteThat was indeed my point, 4:07.
DeleteThis couple has a much larger problem than a miscarriage. Life is a mixed bag of bad and good. If they can't handle the bad any better than this, they're in for a rough ride.
ReplyDeleteThey seem very immature.
DeleteIt is easy to be a naysayer. It is a lot harder not to pass judgement.
ReplyDeleteLawson and Tiffany, thank you for sharing such a hard and traumatic life event. Although a very unpopular topic, it is life. Your honesty and transparency during this time are commendable. Prayers for you are sent during this time of healing.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I think they were a bit too "transparent". I don't see a 2 part expose of a miscarriage as something to post on social media.
Delete@9:12 Somehow all this "honesty and transparency" rings a bit hollow when it's put out on a YouTube channel for the purposes of getting likes, views and subscribers. You know, to make money.
DeleteI think they're gone over this enough. Hopefully there won't be a "Part3".
ReplyDeleteI agree. If they're going to video and air 2 or 3 parts of every negative thing that happens in their lives, they're in for a long haul of negativity.
Delete